Five Reasons Why Halloween is a Teachers Least Favorite Holiday.

Don't get me wrong, there are many things I love about Halloween. I love the vintage, black decorations. I love all the kids in their adorable costumes. I love Hocus Pocus (that counts, right?). I love candy. Cause, well, I am human. 

But, I think it's safe to say that Halloween as a 6th grade teacher might be one of my least favorite days of the year. 

I know, am I a Halloween Scrooge or what? 

Okay, but for reals. 

I don't know, maybe it's the fact that the kids are all cracked out on candy seven days before AND seven days after the specific holiday. 

Or perhaps it's the fact that I have twelve year old girls in the bathrooms for 30 min before school, during lunch, and any chance they can get...primping their eyeliner that their mom put on earlier that morning and it's already coming off because they were crying because some boy called ther costume for Medusa ugly (true story last year. Such nice, gentle spirits...) 

Mostly, I just think it's hilarious. I usually just bring my camera and take pictures of students and put it on the end of year slideshow so I can remember the candy-induced, attention-driven costumes. 

Now, I know some of you teachers out there may disagree with these statements. I would just like to inform you that I sort of have a love/hate relationship with Halloween. I don't necessarily HATE it, I just have to mentally prepare for it, every year. In fact, some of my own coworkers and friends who are teachers may disagree with all of this. As a general rule though, throughout a couple of years of teaching and talking with fellow teachers, I have noticed a pattern. 

Alas, I regress....

Moving on. 

So, I give you Five Reasons Why Halloween is a Teachers Least Favorite Holiday. 

Reason #1-Please, kid, don't die. 

We spend the entire day basically just trying to make sure the kids don't die. 

'Dont hit her with that wand.' 

'Take that mask off.'

'How many pieces of candy have you eaten? Are you going to have a heart attack?' 

Pretty much the average comments that happen on this day. I spend the whole day making sure that the students don't kill themselves or each other. So lovely. 

Reason #2- My Ears Cannot Take Any More Loudness. 

Classes are loud. Include  Halloween candy, costumes and excitement and now you have 25 students who are on an equivalent of crack cocaine. 

That's all I have to say about that, really. Yikes. 

Reason #3- I Have Worn Too Many Costumes in my life. 

I have to come up with a costume EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR?! 

And hello people, I am dressing up for school everyday, for other holidays, for plays, etc. homegirl is running out of ideas! 

I like to think of myself as a creative person, but okay, this is just ridiculous. I'm broke. Teachers get paid crap. I don't have the money nor time to buy or make a costume. And let's be honest, sometimes thinking of a costume is just way too much brain power. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Reason #4-The Halloween Hangover. 

The Day After Halloween. OMG. 

Can we all just take a minute to THANK THE BIG GUY UPSTAIRS THAT HALLOWEEN IS ON A FRIDAY THIS YEAR?! 

Sometimes even worse than Halloween is the day AFTER Halloween. They expect students to come to school and focus and not stash candy in their desks? Oh okay. I usually get a combination of two things on the hangover of Halloween. 

1. Sugar rush. 

2. Then a sugar crash. 

Both=hell. 

Reason #5- But, like, can I take a nap? 

Okay, so I know I'm an introvert. But for being an introvert, I have a lot of energy. I do great with my students and actually do fairly well after school, considering. But that day of Halloween just WIPES ME OUT. Holy Hannah. Like, I don't even want to celebrate Halloween after school. Id rather lay in my bed and sleep in the dark with silence so I am not bombarded with noise and costumes and scary things. Sigh. 

So. Basically. 

I love my job.

Ha. 

(No, but really, I do.) 

Happy Halloween :) 

May you be safe and happy and not kill your children. I promise I won't.