Sierra's View: 2012

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Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012: What a Year!

This is my recap of a whirlwind of a year: some of my most memorable posts. 
As I was reading back throughout the whole year, I noticed that each month had a theme, interestingly enough. 
This year was full of stress, laughter, and some tears. 
Yet, as I look back, I have realized how much I have learned and grown. I am grateful for the life lessons that I have learned through the gospel, my teaching career, and the many extremely fulfilling relationships. 

Okay. 
You ready for this jelly?

January
Theme: Dealing with Trials 


January was a really hard month for me. January is usually a hard month for me. I was still grieving and the weather always kills me in this freezing month, so I had a lot of deep posts. Ha. 

Wrote a very honest, open post about dealing with depression. 
Why I Write... in general. 
Learned about my obsession with buns. With my hair. Not the other kind. 


February
Theme: Attitude 


Wrote a few notes to my future husband. 
Learned about another obsession of mine: Pinterest. 
Wrote a post about how Circumstances should not affect your attitude. 
My Very First Oscar Post. I TALKED ABOUT FASHION, PEOPLE. It's a miracle. 


March 
Theme: Sunshine & Social Media 


My thoughts & opinions on some of my favorite television shows. 
A very very controversial post about equality. 
Went to San Diego for Spring Break.


April
Theme: Happiness





April was a really good month for me. I had found out that I was going to have my very own classroom in August. I finally felt like my life was moving along in a successful way. Plus, the sun starting shining (which always helps!) I wrote a show that my choir performed and was enjoying my very last month in choir ever. 

My very first Spring Nature photo shoot. 
A weekend at City Creek with friends. And lots of food. 
My Choir made a music video with Alex Boye!
Easter Sunday Thoughts. 
Some Spring Fun! 
Thoughts on my last semester in choir and a successful Book of Mormon show.
I, finally, after months of frustration, learned how to let go. 
I realized that unrequited love was the most painful feeling in the world.


May
Theme: A lot of endings & beginnings




May was a big transition time for me. Finished three years of singing in the most amazing choir ever, started my last semester of college ever, started decorating and planning my classroom. 


My very first Dear Me Letter and link up.
I learned that the one thing I crave in life is Consistency. 
A pretty hilarious Dear Me Letter (if I do say so myself).
Reminisced: my one year anniversary of going to Kenya. 
My friends and I make puh-retty crazy videos. 
I learned that full time school in the summertime sucks.
Dreamed of taking really artsy, romantic pictures like these. 
A LOT of thoughts. 
Reminded myself of everything I learned from LDC. 
Third year in LDC: picture style. 


June
Theme: Feeling Intensely





peed my pants over the funniest youtube video ever.  And these. 
An incredible quote about learning to be alone.
Fell pretty hard for a guy. Aw, summer loves. 
Thoughts on classroom environment. 
More thoughts on life.
Some more hilarious Dear Me letters.
One of the most powerful speeches on vulnerability EVER.
A break up post that had way too many views. (I guess people like reading about sad things?)
An ode to my long hair! haha
A FASHION POST. AHHHHH.



July
Theme: A lot of Deep Writing.



Learning not to react to life. 
A poem about me. 
Funny things that made me laugh. 
A quote that I'm pretty sure was written about me.
Colorado Shooting Thoughts. 
Bachelorette!!!!!
Saw Wicked on Broadway!
Watched a lot of Olympics
How to be Alone.


August 
Theme: STRESS


August was a transitional month for me. I started my very first year teaching and was finishing up all of my schoolwork as well. A lot of new things were happening and I was feeling a lot of stress (positive and negative). So much for a hot, enjoyable, summer month eh? Haha. I didn't have much of a summer, unfortunately. 

Venting Session 
Drooling over the hot men in Olympics. 
Rodeo time. 
A lot of feelings about starting school. 
I AM A TEACHER!!!


September
Theme: Adulthood...in a 4th grade classroom. 


Thoughts on Trust. 
4th grade sense of humor
One of the sweetest things written about me ever. 
You all wrote birthday notes to me on my 22nd birthday!! 
Celebrated my 22nd birthday with an awesome birthday party.
Some hilarious quotes from my students.
I STARTED A BOOK.
A look at my classroom and how I decorated it.
My kitty, Simba, died. 


October
Theme: A whole lot of everything






I was very busy in October: writing my senior thesis and adjusting to my first year teaching. It was the one year anniversary of my niece's death and I had a rough time with that. But I did, however, have some fun!

Threw a blogging party at awful waffle.
Took my very first family portraits. 
Went to Disneyland for Fall Break.
Took photos of the beautiful colors of Fall here in Utah.
Reunited with some lifelong Oregon friends.
Epic Halloween Costume and picture. 
Adjusting to teaching and the difficulties of it all.
Dealing with Holland's death. 


November
Theme: MIA



I didn't blog much in November.
That's all. haha.

Cried over the presidential election. 
A very emotional post about why my blog exists and the unwanted competition in the blogging world.
Spent Thanksgiving in Palm Springs with the family. (yep, didn't post about it though. It's fine. ha)


December
Theme: Christmas. duh.



I have felt a huge sense of relief when December came. I finished my senior thesis (75 pages!!), finished all of my observations, survived my first few months of teaching, finished college, and learned a lot about myself. 

Thoughts on the Sandy Hook Shooting from a Teacher's perspective.
Holiday fun!!
Pictures of Christmas with the Family


As you can tell this year was a mixture of stress, sadness, immense happiness, laughter, and lots of memories. 
Here's to a new year!
So ready for it.
2013 is gonna be my year. I can feel it. 



Saturday, December 29, 2012

Christmas 2012 with the Fam.

"It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."
For me, being home in Oregon with all of my family is wonderful.
For about a week.
Haha.
I have loved coming home to Oregon and being with some of my nieces and nephews and it's been a wonderful escape from reality.
I have really needed the sleep. Ha.
 But its funny, because I am ready to head back to Utah.
My life is there. My home is there.
I love coming home and seeing people that I love.
But I have developed a life elsewhere.
Does that make sense?
I won't go into a long, emotional post. So that's all I'll say for now.

Christmas was wonderful with the family.
I am so happy that my sister, Bri, had decided to spend Christmas at my parents otherwise Christmas morning would have been very boring. Ha. There is something so magical and wonderful about seeing a child's excitement on Christmas morning.
I loved watching my 7 year old nephew, Palmer, be more excited about receiving an Oregon hat and Diary of a Wimpy Kid book more than anything else.
I loved seeing 5 year old Portia's face when she received a signed Justin Bieber poster.
Teya, my 2 1/2 year old niece just liked ripping the paper more than the actual gift.
Kids just bring so much excitement and pure joy to the season and I needed that reminder.
I have learned that I need to be around kids.
Which would, probably, explain why I decided to be around 4th graders all day as my career.
I think I subconsciously knew that I needed the reminder of pure happiness that emanates from children because often times I forget that. 
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Break. 

Me with all of my nieces and nephews (minus Dane! And Holland, of course.)
Watching Holland's video. 
Making cookies with Nona. 
My beautiful niece, Portia. 
Beating up Papa. 
Workout Session with Uncle Landon. 

The girls in their Sunday Christmas dresses. 



Love all of the Christmas Decorations in my home.
Now I need to make New Years Resolutions.
Yikes. 
xoxo. 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Tis the Season!

I have been very bad at posting since the Holidays have started.
But, alas, I am here, posting some fun Christmas activities that have happened. 
I love the Christmas Season. I love the joy that emerges from people, even amidst the store chaos and negative worldly happenings.
I have been planning classroom Christmas parties, classroom holiday writings, and many other things that happened in my class that posting on this blog has been left behind a wee bit during December.
Through the many activities in my classroom, I finished my Senior Teacher Sample (basically a senior thesis--75 pages later) and all of my observations. IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.
It feels amazing to be done and just focus on my students and becoming a better teacher.
I am, currently, sitting on my couch at home in Oregon. It feels so amazing to do whatever I want for a couple of days. My niece, Portia, is my little partner in crime and I am totally okay with it.
No better feeling than curling up by my fire at home, book in hand, the Christmas decorations all around and feeling the joy that, in a lot of ways, has been absent from my life the past few months. I have been so insanely busy since the summer, that I don't think I have stopped and breathed for awhile. I love that I am able to have the time to stop, think and process my life in a safe, comfortable, beautiful home. I am so grateful that I have a "home" to come to--where I feel love and comfort, even if it is a little loud and dysfunctional. :)
I am so grateful for the Birth of my Savior. It is because of him that I have become the person I am. His birth is a reminder that He wants to show us that he understand us completely and that He loves us perfectly. May we remember Him and the true meaning of Christmas through this cold, rainy weather. :)
Merry Christmas!
Hopefully you are all enjoying wonderful time with family and friends.
May each of us remember our blessings and the happiness we can obtain through Him this Christmas season.

{Temple Square lights in Salt Lake}



 {such a hilarious picture ha}







{Avoiding people at an Ugly Sweater party...
Look at that face. Typical}


{Sing a long at Energy Solutions Arena} 



 


(more pictures of the break coming soon!)
Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

From a 4th Grade Teacher...

I had to run to the post office at lunch on Friday. I got into my car and was listening to the radio when I heard about the Sandy Hook Elementary Shooting. Words cannot describe how I was feeling as I walked into the faculty lounge and we, as teachers, were reading about this heinous crime. I found myself getting teary eyed and as we continued talking about this awful incident. 

As I walked back into my classroom after lunch, I looked at each of my 4th graders individually. I noticed them. For their strengths, for their unique personalities, for their innocence--for everything they were. As I watched my students and their innocent oblivion to the awful incident in CT in class today, I teared up a little bit. I cannot fathom anyone hurting those children. Those students of mine are like my babies. I spend every single day with them. For some of them, I spend more time with them in a day than their parents. Yes, they frustrate me at times, but I would do ANYTHING to protect them.  

On Friday, I hugged my students a little tighter than usual. They were all a little confused. Haha. 

I am sort of at a loss for words when it comes to this whole thing. 
I don't have the perfect elegant phrases. 
I don't know how I feel about the whole gun control issue. 
I am torn between constantly wanting to stop listening to the news, but cannot turn away at the same time. 
I feel so much frustration and agony towards the gunman and his mother. (What did she do to help him through his personality disorder and his episodes?)
I don't know what would help keep our schools safe. (Would a security system at every school even help? What about a security guard?) 
I feel for those parents of those little children.
I feel for those students who now, have to live through PTSD when it comes to school. 

I am a simple human being. And I don't have the right words right now. I wish I did, but I do not. 
I just know this: 
I am a 4th grade teacher and I love my students more than anything, even on the more difficult days. Teachers, throughout this country, are heroes. And those teachers, specifically, at Sandy Hook are heroes in our day. 
Those children are in a much better place. 

Unfortunately, because of this tragedy, it has, at least, made me realize how grateful I am for my students. My thoughts and prayers go out to those parents, students, and teachers who will be FOREVER affected by this. 

THIS was a good read. 
I appreciate Obama's sincerity in this video. No matter who you are, this is how each of us have responded to this tragedy; as humans. 

And this picture, somehow, brings comfort to me. 

"The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."
JOSEPH SMITH

Friday, December 7, 2012

And Then I Realized I Hadn't Blogged in a Really Long Time...

....and you all still loved me.

Right?

And then I showed this picture.
As an angel.
Fitting, right? NOT. 



And then I left.
Cause that's all I really have time for right now. 
Hakuna Mutata.


Sunday, November 25, 2012

Question

Any reason why my Blogger account will not allow me to upload any more photos? It claims that I do not have any more storage in my goggle blogger account to upload any more? How do I delete some photos? Where are they? Why is it saying this? Ahhhh!!! Haha.

Help, oh ye wise and experienced bloggers! I'm a little incompetent when it comes to these things sometimes...

Monday, November 19, 2012

Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. 
I am so overwhelmed with the the positive feedback, love, and support that I received after my last somewhat controversial (for lack of a better word) post. 
Thank you.
That's all I can really say; thank you. 
I will respond soon to all of your amazing comments just as soon as I remember to start breathing again.
Senior Projects, Papers, Observations, Planning Lessons, Grading, Not Sleeping.
That's what my life consists of.


But, in the meantime, I will be going to the California desert for Thanksgiving with my family. 


(not my picture...obviously. I have a million pictures of San Diego--just not the desert outside of San Diego/LA :)) 

I have so much to be grateful for amidst the chaos. 
And I can't wait to just enjoy it, ya know?
So, yea. 
Let's just say things are looking up for this week!
Let's just hope that Landon and I don't run into any problems along the way like our past Thanksgiving Road Trip Excursions have seem to bring us...
...God must really want us to be grateful....

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving Break!
And in case I don't see ya (which is very likely) 
Good Afternoon, good evening, and good night!
(name that movie)

xoxo. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Why This Blog Exists.

I was reading Aunie's page a couple of minutes ago and was bombarded with a flood of emotions. I recently have been quite frustrated with the blogging world. I feel like all this "world" is, is a compilation of women trying to show that they wear the most fashionable clothes, or have the most perfect lives or are the most trendy women on this planet. 
I follow so many blogs.
Not because I care about knowing "what's in" or "what's popular" but those specific blogs that I follow are ones that are REAL. Some of them are women that I have met and truly enjoyed being around in person, so I WANT to follow their blogs because I like them. But these are blogs that possess a quality of truth to them-- I can hear, read, and even feel the blogger's personalities.
I originally started this blog to write.
To write down my thoughts and feelings. I have a lot of those. And I needed an escape.
And it just so happened that others liked reading it.
I write for me. My blog is for me. 
Do not get me wrong, I am so happy for all of my followers and for all of the support and for all of the friends that I have made over the course of this time, but I have learned to just accept my blog for what it is.
It is, in a way, therapy for me. 
And I'm going to be real. I'm going to be honest. 

I am so sick of the competition that takes place in this blogging world.
I asked to button swap with a certain blog the other day (I won't name names, however, I will say that I instantly stopped following hers) and she sent back an enormously condescending email that essentially said, "Oh honey, you don't have even close to the amount of followers I have, so that's not okay. But go find someone who is small like your blog."
I laughed out loud as a I read it. I totally understand where she is coming from. But seriously?
You are not a celebrity because you have 1,000 followers.
You are a blogger. 
Who clearly is not blogging for YOU.

So, my ladies (and few gentleman!) I am not telling you to write on your blogs. Believe me. You can do what you want. But as for me and my blog, we will be keepin' it real over here.
If you know what I mean.

So much love. 
Really.
(maybe a little bitterness, k?)
xoxo. 

So really, aunie, in a round about way, I was thanking you for your post :)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME.

Yea, I know.
I HAVE REAL SPONSORSHIPS NOW!!!!! 
I know it is the middle of November, but if you decide to sponsor Oh, Just Living the Dream, I will allow you stay through November and ALL of December. So, really, today is your lucky day.

But seriously. 
There are only a few spots left so button away, my favorite people!
 I would love to have you on this blog. 
I'm not going to sit here and convince you to do it, because, let's be honest, I don't have the time nor the energy to right now. Strep throat and the flu for the whole past week has really gotten to me, let me tell ya. 
And if you want to do it, you will. 
You all are pretty individualistic women (er, you few men), right?
Plus, if you love me, you will do it. (passive aggressive much?)

Just click on the link below and it will guide you through the lovely steps.

Since I am just starting these passionfruit ads and let's face it, I am pretty fresh at this whole thing (hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?) I would love to do BUTTON SWAPS with you all. Just shoot me an email and I will let you know the promo code. I only have a couple more spots open for button swaps though, just FYI so get to me fast! 

Happy Button Swapping my Bubbly Bloggers!
(10 points for alliteration). 

If you're completely incompetent, here's how you do it:
1. Click on the Sponsor tab above.
2. Click Buy Now--for "Dreamin" Button (my only option for right now)
3. Upload 200x100 picture
4. Make sure to link it back to your page!
5. I accept it.
6. Wa la! Not rocket science.


P.S. Come be my friend all over the internet :)

Oh, Just Living the Dream Facebook Page

Oh, one more thing:
I am SO blog hopping right now.
it's fun.
You should try it.
Come on, everyone's doing it.
This blogging ish just got REAL, people.


Blog-working Wednesday!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Vulnerability.

I know this is long.
But I PROMISE it is worth every minute.
This is so perfect.




I am just lying here with a fever, migraine, nausea, and an awful sore throat.
So, this is what you get today.
And believe me, you will thank me for this.

Favorite Quotes:

The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," -- which we all know that feeling: "I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough." The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.

The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection...

They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.

The problem is -- and I learned this from the research -- that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. (Laughter) I don't want to feel these.

You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." That's our job. 

I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive. And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we're enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough," then we stop screaming and start listening, we're kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.


P.S. 

Come stalk me other places, k?


And don't forget to follow me on this blog, too.
Duh. :)

I have yet to begin my technical sponsorship 1) because I do not have the time to start that right now 2) I sort of hate the blogging world right now. #cycnicalcindyoverhere
BUT...
With that being said--if we have similar blogs, I would love to do a button swap! Just leave a comment and/or email and me and lets do a switch-a-roo! 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Sounds about Right.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, 
sympathetic with the striving, 
and tolerant of the weak and the strong. 
Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

My life right now. 

Me. Not right now. Obviously. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

OH NO! POLITICS!

Don't worry, this is a good politics post. :)

Regardless of your race, religion or political views, this is still a powerful picture.


GET OUT THERE AND VOTE RIGHT NOW.

AND JUST TO MAKE YOU LAUGH:

This was a student of mine's response to "Write about what it would be like if you were President." 
Oh no, I think I need to be worried.  


Happy Election Day! 
May our new President do a much better job than what my 4th grader would do.... 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Holland.

 

It's been a rough day.
But I have had a lot of tender mercies happen. 
I'm sitting in my classroom. It's 7 pm. I'm not working. I'm just thinking. 
I think it has become my safe haven--the only place I truly can get some alone time.
As I am sitting here attempting to plan for guided reading, I began reading posts about my niece.
And I watched this video of my two month old niece who passed away one year ago. 

Holland Kay, you have consistently been on my mind for the past two weeks.
I haven't watched this video in a year. And now I remember why.
I bawled like a baby through the entire thing.
Save a spot for us up there in heaven, okay, sweetie? 



Some posts written about Holland: 









 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Word Vomit.

Just a note: I posted over at Speak Now Blog a couple of weeks ago. I forgot to let you know!
Go Check it out!


I am finally posting!!!
I know, I KNOW, I have been so bad at blogging. I appreciate all of those who have continued to stick around. I am going to try really hard to be better. 
I just needed some "space". 
And now, I just need to write. 
So, you ready for some scattered word vomit?

The elections are coming up on Tuesday and I am surprisingly nervous for them. I truly hope that this country tries everything in their power to make the best decision they know--not to just follow the crowd or do what they want, but to do they know will be best for this country and our future. So get out and vote, people!!! 

It's starting to get colder here in Utah, which I hate. But I do love Thanksgiving and Christmas time. Bittersweet, ya know?

This past week at school has been a little difficult. I have a couple boys in my class who are giving me a run for my money (yes, the very small amount of money that I do make! Ha). Both of them have very difficult home lives, and I am sympathetic towards them, but they are defiant and manipulative, which I have very little patience for. The students were extra bad this week due to the intake of excessive Halloween candy, so my patience was minimal. I want to help these boys, but in a lot of ways, I just don't know how. I know what they need is just love. So I love them. With all that I can. But I won't lie, it has been difficult for me to love them. They are intelligent, bright, funny kids and I do have a special place in my heart for them, but it is exhausting to have the same fight with them over and over and over again. I have been fighting to find something, anything, to motivate them to do their schoolwork and to have good behavior. The next step, I guess, is to simply pray. 
As I am sitting here typing all of this, I am reminded of how much a teacher truly does. I am not only a teacher, but I am a friend, a mentor, a mom, and a therapist. I deal with not only academic issues, but everyday physical, mental, and emotional needs of these kids. They all have such wonderful potential, and my job is to instill that drive, into them in order to succeed. 
I love my job so much, but my goodness, it is exhausting. It drains me. And I am slowly learning how to balance my life so that I can stop being a work-a-holic but still help these children. One part of it that is so difficult is that I am transitioning into "real life" now. I have a real career and my life is very different than it has been for the past four years. And that transition is, well, hard. It sucks growing up! And I am trying to be a perfectionist in my classroom and in my life. Yet, I have learned that balancing my career life will come with time. In the meantime, I just need to take things one day at a time and remind myself that teaching will get easier. 

I have my friends from Kenya Keys coming down to my school to talk about what life and education is like in Kenya on Friday. My 4th graders and I talk about my experience in Kenya and what life is like there all of the time. If they start ruining things in their desks or misplacing pencils, etc. I always remind them that my students in Kenya only received two pencils for the entire school year. They love to see pictures and hear stories of these kids halfway across the country; that live in a completely different world. I'm excited to have them hear more! I am also excited to see my dear, sweet Kenya friends. I cannot wait to go back and visit that place that has shaped me so much.  
 Oh, and more observations from my school mentors are happening this week. Cannot wait for those to be done in DECEMBER. So close! 

As many of you know, I have a missionary. He comes home fairly soon. 
When? I am still not entirely sure.
I have never really talked about him before on my blog, so this is a big step.
But recently, I have been having a hard time with that entire situation.
I am unaware of when he is actually coming home (it's complicated) so I feel as though I am sort of just waiting around for this boy. And that is so not like me. I have never been that kind of girl.
But it's hard. 
Really hard.
It's hard to know if I should just continue on with my life or be patient. 
Either way, it is difficult to have feelings for someone who I haven't seen or talked to (except through email, letters, and phone calls on certain holidays) and to know what's going to happen.
Essentially, what it comes down to, is that this entire situation is difficult because I do not know what is going to happen in the future. And that, my friends, makes me feel very anxious. 
As much as I try not to think about it, I do. And it gets harder every day. I feel as though I am just ready for that next step of my life, but I feel stuck too. Ugh.

A couple of weeks ago was the one year anniversary of my two month old niece, Holland, passing away. 
I don't think I was mentally or emotionally aware that it was going to be that difficult. I thought that, in a way, I was going to be ready for it. I was prepared. 
But I wasn't.
I remember the day before the first anniversary of Holland's passing, I could not seem to get out of bed. I was sad. I got a speeding ticket. It all kind of just muddled together. And, in a way, I completely shut down. I pushed away from people because I didn't know how to explain everything that I was feeling. It was as if I was feeling nothing and everything at the same time. But, to be frank, I am still haunted by the negative experiences that correlate with her death. I remember receiving the phone call, I remember trying to be there for my sister, feeling completely helpless. I remember the pain, stress, and hardship that accompanied her death. I remember the extreme difficulty of the entire situation. 
Death never really goes away. And everywhere on her anniversary, I will probably remember this. But, just like everything in life, it will get easier. 

And, like, usual, winter time is hard for me. 
When winter hits, Seasonal Affective Disorder bombards me and I have to remind myself that I need to work 3x as hard as most people at getting out of bed in the morning. And that's okay. As long as I keep going. 
It gets easier. It always does.  
Stress is a severe trigger for my depression. And I need to remember that life is to be enjoyed, not just endured. And for the past three months I have been simply enduring everything. Which is okay because that was really my only option. 
I have made a goal to work out 4-5x a week. I love my new gym that I just joined and I am ready to stop feeling sorry for myself. I am ready to practice balancing everything in my life. Again. Like I have to remind myself every year. Ha. 

Happy November! Can't believe it's already almost Thanksgiving. Although this time of year tends to be hard for me, I love it at the same time. 
Here's to taking things one step at a time!


And for your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures from my Halloween:

At a Halloween Party, I was a hick. (That is not alcohol by the way). You should see my hair without that hat...

And one of my best friends, Adam, was my blog for Halloween. Hahahahaha. 

So perfect.

My friends like to make fun of me for my blog. They think it's funny.
So kind.
But pretty hilarious costume!!

At school I decided to be an escape convict/prisoner. I told the kids that if they did drugs, this is what would happen to them. Why am I so freaking funny?

Love his costume. 

Told you I have funny students. And friends. 
I just have a funny life. 
Opa. 
Have a great week, people. 
xoxo.