And I Write...

San diego Sunset. Yes, please. 

I am one of those people who pays attention to the little mundane aspects of the world around them. Where ever I am, I am aware of what's going in nature, in myself and in other people. I have learned that I try to drink in the world around me (and the world in my head) with all of my five senses. I pay attention. I am ready. I try to keep my senses peeled because I never know when they will ring immensely.
I have recently been trying to squeeze all the junk of the world out of my head. I have been trying to clear out the mental garbage (negativity) so that I can be in the moment and breathe in the beauty of everything. Because there is beauty in everything (yea, I'm a hippie from oregon. Whats up). Even the little things. When you see the world for it's beauty, you capture images that you might otherwise ignore. 

I am currently writing a script for my choir's show this upcoming April on the Book of Mormon. I feel completely inadequate and overwhelmed, but it has allowed my writing senses to escalate.
This writing has allowed my constant need to write things down. I have learned that I absolutely, positively, most definitely love to write. I dream of writing self help books, realistic fiction books, young adult books. I hope to one day actually accomplish this dream. But I love to write because it allows those elements of a quality person, those elements of good things, of memorable things, to be written down.

Writing lets me react in the way that I want to. 
Sometimes I can't always act like a child in every day life. I can when I am writing. I can write in any behavior, thought, or way that I want to. 
I have notebooks galore in my room. Notebooks of letters from missionaries, cards from birthdays and other random occasions, handouts/lessons/talks from church, I used to collect comics (judge me) so I have those, random assortment of sweet little things to remember. I have a dream journal, a journal with ALL of my thoughts, a quote journal from books I read, a general conference journal, a church journal, a journal for the script I am writing, a password journal, a poem journal. Are you sensing a pattern yet? :)

Once in awhile I get seized by an idea for a piece of writing. In all of my watching, in all my observing (which I do very well at by the way. I should be a professional observer), I receive a revelation for a play, book, poem, blog post. And I write it down. Because if I don't, I forget it. With all the millions of thoughts rummaging through my brain, I have to write it down!

Should I even dare talk about all the lists that I possess?
What is it about lists? Seriously.
Maybe it's the need for humans to accumulate stuff; that mental celebration one gets when they can cross it off the list. (or is that just me? awkward...)

In my Language Arts Methods course (essentially, teaching children how to read), we have a "writer's notebook" which consists of many aspects of writing. I love it. Weird, I know. The assignment is to turn in aspects of writing. Oh, okay. Done. 
In this Writer's Notebook, I get the chance to include ALL of these things that I write about it. It's perfect. Lists, book ideas, words, etc.

One of the most important aspects of writing, for me, is about the memories, though.
Memories have a way of embedding themselves into your heart and never leaving. Writing allows those memories of mine (believe me, I have many) to soak in the physical surroundings around me.

So, my friends, that is why I write on here. That is why I started this blog in the first place. I realize that often people don't want to read what I have to say (let's be honest, most people probably don't), but I write because I love it. And don't get me wrong, it's not all deep and crap (yea, super deep word, huh?). But writing, for me, is therapy.
My life is a constant adventure. Boring is never a word used in my life. I don't think anyone has ever described me as such either. 
So, I write. For memories. For healing.
...but mostly because I just love to do it.
(oh, and cause I'm super funny.)

Feel free to join me. :)

p.s. Here is proof. On camera. This is me just being in la la land, probably daydreaming and observing others. Actually, probably just brain typing. (oh, I'll get to that later, don't you worry).

In Africa.
Hence the frizz & no make up. 

San Francisco. 

Just daydreaming at choir.
In my beautiful Mickey Mouse christmas sweater.
Note: This is NOT a fashion blog.
Side note: I would like to add, however, that I do have a good sense of style. I swear. I just don't have the money, time, or resources to be all trendy and show you what I wear everyday.
I would kill to be cute and trendy and have nice clothes and all that stuff every single day. 
One day. When I'm rich. From all my novels.
Okay, but I'm really leaving now. 

Dealing.

Sadness is a difficult feeling to grasp. 

Being vulnerable is a difficult thing for me.

But I am allowing myself because I need to write this. 

Bear with me.

Depression is a messy illness (or whatever you want to call it). Maybe we can call it a trial? Illness has such a negative connotation to it, I know. Here's a little secret though: everything about depression is negative. 

Everything that accompanies depression: sadness, frustration, loneliness, lack of energy, irritability, lack of desire, selfishness, unable to feel in control, lack of confidence, distance, numbness, anger, etc. is in fact, negative. 

It is utterly debilitating; unexplainably destructive. 

Completely unable to deal with emotions, I called my sister. I didn't want to call her. I didn't want to call anyone because I hate putting that burden on other people. But, I attempted to hold it together as she validated every feeling that I couldn't seem to describe. 

"Think of it this way," she explained. "It's as if you have a constant bag of rocks on your back. You are, literally, carrying this burden with you every where you go."

As I have continued to think of this metaphor, it only becomes more real. 

Sometimes, rocks fall out, or are even taken out from the Lord, and the burden seems to get lighter. But it never completely goes away. 

That bag of rocks is an ever constant load weighing me down. 

There are times, when the backpack seems to dissipate. I feel as though a burden has been completely lifted. I feel at peace.

But, without fail, that bag of rocks returns. No matter what. 

It's a frustrating feeling, knowing that no matter what amazing decisions are made, depression reiterates its existence in my life. 

There is no cure for depression. I cannot explain why I have almost no serotonin or dopamine in my brain. There are methods to help dispel the pain, but it may be something that is stuck with me for a very long time. 

I didn't choose to feel this way. I didn't choose to have to this trial. But it's been given to me. And I'm trying my best to deal. 
My good friend, Hillary, described it perfectly to me today. 
"It doesn't get any easier with every bout of depression, it almost gets harder. And when you're in it, it feels like you're never going to get out of it and this is just the remainder of how your life is going to be. We swim in hopelessness when we are depressed. Anyone who thinks you can control it or it's just the "energy you put out into the universe" has no comprehension of reality. It's not about what you can control because it's a physical impairment. Your body isn't producing what you need to get by. And medication doesn't necessarily help. It's a vivacious circle that feeds off itself. Depression makes you feel hopeless and hopeless makes you feel more depressed."
I couldn't explain it any better. 
I have been here before. I know what all of this feels like. These feelings are nothing new. I feel like I should know what to do to make it go away, but it doesn't work like that. It's disheartening because I  feel as though I can't hold any semblance of a relationship in the midst of this. I try to remember the good times, though and wonder what I was doing differently; where I fell off the wagon to make this cycle start again. These relationships are lacking because I almost get bitter and resentful towards other people who are feeling genuine happiness; not because I am a bitter person but because it's not "fair" that some people (who are undeserving) are getting all of those wonderful things while I continue to feel worse. 

One of the most difficult and frustrating parts about depression is the lack of control I seem to feel. I am a confident person. I have had this illness since I was 14 years old, so it's almost as if it's a natural part of my life. I know methods to ease the pain, but nothing (at least not yet) has allowed it to completely disintegrate from my life. But there are days, quite literally, I cannot seem to fathom the positive aspects of myself. There are days when living does not even seem enjoyable (don't worry, I don't mean it to be like that.) My confidence in all of my abilities is completely erased. I'm not pretty enough. I am fatter than the rest of my friends. Boys don't like me. I didn't get a good enough grade in my class. 

Nothing I do is good enough in my head. Sounds so ridiculous, right?

It is. 

It is absolutely, irrevocably ridiculous.

That's the problem though. It's a constant cycle. I attempt to build my confidence back up, but than the smallest thing will trigger it and I will spiral back down. 

With depression, a trigger can be anything. For me, currently, it's often a relationship not being validated. I see a friend (or friends) not living up to what I want--did you catch that?

Not living up to what I want.

Me. Me. Me. 

Depression is selfish. 

I have these expectations. Whether it be for myself or for others. And when those expectations are not met (which they usually aren't), that is when the trigger goes off and I lose all control of my stability. Sometimes, I can literally feel myself going further down. 

It's as if I am watching and listening to somebody else take over my body. 

And I know who that somebody else is: it's Satan.

It is Satan telling me that I am not smart enough, not pretty enough, not talented enough. 

And Heaven (or hell) knows I don't want him to win. 

Being a stubborn, driven and determined girl, I become frustrated as I watch that spiral fall into a deeper crevice. 

Depression makes me a victim. 

And that, my friends, is the last thing that I want to be.

I take a look at everything that is happening in my life and it never completely lives up to it. I'm not sure what it entails, but it just never lives up to it. 

I am constantly disappointed. 

I am disappointed in other peoples' insecurities and actions.

I'm disappointed that my friends & family aren't loyal enough to me.

I'm disappointed that I keep gaining weight.

I'm disappointed that I can't do what I want to do with my life, which is travel.

I'm disappointed in myself, for feeling this sad so often.

I'm disappointed that somebody else cannot take this burden from me. 

There are days when it is literally difficult to get out of bed.

I have found the best way to cope with this is by taking my life one thing at a time. 

And if I get up out of bed, go to school and choir and that's it.

Then that is good enough. 

I have to allow myself some leniency. 

There are times when my heart literally feels as if it is breaking.

We all know what it feels like to lose someone we love so immensely. That aching, that pure agony that accompanies it, is absolutely devastating. 

That is what depression feels like. But on a more constant basis.

Depression is just grief without a reason. 

When people ask me: "What's wrong?" How am I supposed to respond: "Oh nothing, just depressed." 

I can't respond that way because it's not politically correct. 

What people fail to realize is that depression is just like any other illness. 

If I say, "Oh I have a migraine," then people understand. Then that's okay to feel down. 

But if I were to say, "Oh I'm just really sad today; dealing with my depression," people would respond with: "Then just snap out of it. Let's go make you happy!"

Oh, how I wish it were that easy. 

I hate being that girl. The one who is constantly crying when a depression week hits. 

Here's the thing though, friends: Some days are good. Some days are bad. Some months are amazing. Some months are awful. Some hours are wonderful. Some hours are hell. 

There is no black and white solution; I take my life as I am feeling then. 

That's all, really, I can do. 

There are times when I feel completely numb. It's as if I am just walking through the motions. Because when I stop (and sometimes I do) it's hard for me to get back up. 

Depression is weakening. 

People tell me all of the time how strong I am. But to be completely honest, I feel weak. 

I feel weak because I don't, in times of need, always turn to the Lord. 

I make stupid mistakes when I am down sometimes. 

I make it worse for myself sometimes. 

It's so much easier said than done when I'm feeling like this.

Because as I am on my knees talking with Him for hours on end and I wake up the next morning feeling the exact same way...

it's disheartening. 

And it makes me angry. 

It just makes me angry sometimes. 

As silly as that sounds, it does.

But, I have to allow myself to feel everything, otherwise I will feel nothing. 

I'm tired. I'm physically and emotionally drained in my "depression moments."

I'm lonely because I want somebody to lift this bag of rocks from my back. But they can't. I just want someone to take one rock off. But they can't. The only people who can are me and the Lord. But it's a lonely process. Because no words, no other person, no other thing, can take the pain away. 

I am a happy girl. Depression is not my natural demeanor. I feel things so deeply. I have a huge heart, but sometimes that is the problem. My dad told me once, "You may feel the lowest lows in life, but you also feel the highest highs." I know my emotions so very well. Depression has allowed me to know myself extremely well. I know how I am feeling at every minute of every day. And I know why I'm feeling that way. There are wonderful things that come from this. I know myself so very well. 

I don't write this do gain pity. I don't write this for all of you to feel sorry for me. I write this to simply explain.  To help others out there have a semblance of understanding to the inner workings of depression; the complete chaos and confusion encountered (3 points for alliteration). My head and my heart are constantly spinning at a million miles an hour and it is nearly impossible for me to describe everything in words. And if I attempt, I fall into a pattern of incessant crying. And let's be honest, nobody likes that. 

It is uncomfortable. 

It is sad. 

It sucks.  

I wish I could explain it more vividly, but this is all I have for now. I did my best.  

We all know what it's like to have a broken heart. We all know what it's like to have pain. And I'm not discounting anybody's pain. I just want others to try to understand mine. 

I cannot ask "why?" Because this is my trial in life (or one of them). The Lord has handed this to me so that I am able to be even stronger. The Lord knows that I can take this pain and that I can use it for my benefit; for others' benefit. 

I know that I have felt all of these things for a reason. I know that I am going through this so that something greater can happen in my life. Who knows, the Lord may just be preparing me. No, let me correct myself, the Lord IS preparing me. I know it.

And I'm so happy that He trusts me enough to go through this. 

"There's a peace I've come to know. 

Though my heart and flesh may fail, there's an anchor for my soul,

I can say, "all is well."

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain 
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise.
I will rise." 

Listen here.

...because I can't pay attention in class.

All of these kill me.

Absolutely kill me. 

You're welcome.

You want to watch all of these. Believe me.

.....major ADD right now.

We are the Youtube Generation, aren't we?

Ha. 

Big Buns.

No, not that kind. Although I do have that kind too...I don't wanna talk about it. 
My dear friend, Candace (Happy Birthday, lady!) and I did a "sock bun" without the sock the other day.

Ignore the accentuated blush on me (right). It's the instagram edit. Boo.
Oh yea, follow me. sisiainge.
 #firstworldproblems. 

At first I was really hesitant when I saw how it looked because it was so...big.
But after many compliments, my confidence boosted and I owned that up do (quote it!).
It's amazing what a few compliments can do for a person. 

My friends and I joke that I am a legitimate blogger now because I do my hair like this. (but seriously)
And I wear these glasses.
And I actually wear semi-cute clothes to school.

Moment of silence, people. Moment of silence.

xoxo.

When Words Fail, Music Speaks.

I know some of you may not be country fans, but Miranda Lambert's The House That Built Me is incredible. Give it a try, at least. I love the words. 

Fix You by Coldplay is my top five favorite songs of all time. The lyrics are perfect. So perfect. 

Music, particularly these two songs, are getting me through right now. 

Wow, I love music. 

on my mind.

I just wrote a blog post that took an hour.

I just erased it all.

I didn't like what I wrote. 

It's weird. 

Usually I can express how I am feeling in words. blah. 

The perfectionist is coming out right now. 

So here are some quotes that I have read/heard this week that can say what I am feeling right now a lot better than I can at the moment:

"I don't care who gets the glory as long as  we do the work"-- I need to have this mentality. Because I definitely don't. I need appreciation. I need reciprocation. And sometimes I hate it. I wish I could just do something nice without secretly wishing for appreciation in the end. Am I terrible person for that?

"The only way we can truly be happy in this life is to live His gospel. To turn to him. To take the time to find Him. Ultimately, to know that he has calmed your fears and made you whole again. You can't change others lives or bring them to Christ until you find Him yourself." --Sigh. Need I say more? I need to trust Him to help calm my troubled heart and my fears. It's amazing what developing a friendship with the Savior does to us. That relationship is the cause for everything else that is good in my life. I recently have been frustrated with those close to me due to a lack of loyalty. He is ALWAYS loyal. Always. 

"The Lord only upgrades." --upgrading. It's hard being a single 21 year old in provo. Yep, I said it. Dating gets discouraging and I constantly feel like I am doing something wrong. However, if I am doing what needs to be done, He will consistently upgrade whoever comes in my life. He never downgrades. Only upgrades. How true is that? He has something so much better in store. Everything happens for a reason. 

"Humility is signing up and actively choosing for the Lord to change you." Sometimes I have a problem bargaining with God. I know it's wrong but I find myself doing it anyway. "If you do this for me, then I will do this for you." Humility is realizing your faults and asking the Lord to show you the way to change them. 

So here's what I've concluded: 

.....A fundamental layer of my happiness depends on those few close relationships in my life; of that closeness. My friendships, my family, those are all separate aspects of my life, but they all seem to give meaning to the reality of life. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's a bad thing. Which ever one it is, these relationships are important things in my life.  

Sometimes when I am sad and trying to deal with life, I have unassigned blame for no one. it's selfish, but survival takes a sense of self absorption. I think of how frustrated I tend to feel; towards others for avoiding my sadness, for blandly saying things like suffering makes you stronger. Sometimes it's too hard to take your own grief. 

But, I'm not saying that I (we?) try to forget about the pain and sadness that comes our way in life. Of course we can't. But you take the sadness with you, you keep moving and you integrate it into your life, and the burden gets lighter over time. Happiness takes as much practice as unhappiness does. It's by living that you live more. And sometimes happiness stems from those moments when sadness appears. I learn happiness through those moments of sadness, as emo as that sounds. 

But you keep fighting.

I keep fighting. 

Why?

Because they didn't call me Sassy Pants growing up for no reason. 

Hi Friends. 

Sierra here. 

A Twenty-somethin Elementary School Teacher.
Love kids with all my heart. 

Writing. Lots of writing.

 funny things. deep things. sad. things.

I write. A lot. 

Singing.
Music saves me.
Adventure and spontaneity are my forte.
Daydreaming is a bad habit.
Sunshine makes me happy.
cleaning (clean freak?) and baking helps.
Bike riding lets me explore.
Exercise gives me strength.
My faith gives me even more.
Sarcastic and dry sense of humor.
Laughing saves.
Emotions. Lots of emotions.
Modern Family and TV and movie let's me escape.
Fashion lets me be creative.
Reading books=heaven.

Words heal. Which is why I started this blog originally.

Travel.
I lived&taught in Kenya.

I have visited and did service in Fiji, Mexico, and Puerto Rico.

One day I will visit more countries. 

 Life goal: to serve (and/or teach/live) in as many countries as possible.

Because, as cliche as it sounds, I want to help people. 

Puerto Rico

Kenya

Fiji



Sit down. Grab some popcorn. And enjoy. Leave some comments. Pass it along. Hey, you can even email me. But only nice things, please. 

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email me! 

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Well, Shoot...

Talk about making a girl blush. 
Rosie over at Teacher of the Frickin' Year so generously awarded me the Liebster Blog award. 

I just love awards. Needed that booster. Yee. 
The Liebster Award is given to spotlight up-and-coming blogs with less than 200 followers. 
Does this mean that I am a legitimate blogger now? Yikes. I need to step up my game. 


This is how it goes down, ladies& gents (let's be honest, mostly ladies):
Uno. Link back to the person who awarded you. 
Dos.  Tell us who your 5 favorite up and coming blogs are. (they can be the person who awarded you)
Tres.  Post the award on your blog & pass it on! 




So, in order to pass the love on, I need to present to you some blogs that I read that I quite enjoy (how proper do I sound, eh?) 
Without further ado (+2):


1. Dani, La La La Love you 
Okay, so I don't think I have actually met her (maybe I have?) but we have 8 gazillion mutual friends. I think. She is a local elementary teacher and she is constantly ranting, raving, and riling (3 points for alliteration) about her class. As I'm preparing my upcoming classroom, I love reading about her adventures in life and in the schools. 


2. Amanda, Derek&Amanda
I had the opportunity to sing next to her in general conference choir a couple of years ago (wow was it almost two years ago? Goodness!). Not only did we realize that we dated the same person (ha), but we connected (or was that just me?). She just moved to New York City with her husband. She always has interesting, fun, insightful stories to tell on her adorable blog!


3. Sarah, The Author's Desk
I love this girl. I love her blog. You can just tell how big her heart is from her posts. Just be warned, this is not a site (no pun intended) for the lighthearted. Her passion, intensity and writing is marvelous. You may come out crying. I love the genuine feel of her blog. 


4. Lexi, All You Need is Love
I love how real she is in all of her posts. She tells things how they are really are. Her honesty is refreshing to a blogger like me (Ya know, one who tends to think deep thoughts and is brutally honest on my  own blog sometimes). Her blog is adorable, fun, and real! 


5. Allie, Things I love
Words cannot describe how amazing this girl is. Her blog only continues to emulate that idea as well. She is a health freak (love her for it) and has many wonderful tips about staying healthy in all aspects of life. Enjoy!




P.S. There are many blogs that I didn't put up but I genuinely love. It's just that I thought you a) probably don't read my blog b) would find this stupid (cough lexie and bri) or c) You have enough followers anyway...Ha


OH, and.. K. I need help with my blog. Who's gonna help a sista out? How do you: 
create a button? Put cool fonts on your blog? Have sponsors (not my ad sponsors but other blog sponsors)? Create the buttons and links on the top or side panel of your page? 

I'm Sensing a Pattern.

{Old School, huge, fake, nerdy} 

Glasses. 

Is anybody else diggin' them? Or is just me?

Is it just me who looks like a ginormous goober in them?

Because I'm such a HUGE follower, I have decided to wear these now.

I'm a hipster, what can I say.

Well, like, once a month.
All in favor say "I". 
xo.


On another complete unrelated note. (well sort of, I am sensing a pattern of hilarious Youtube videos continuously popping up in my life, too)....
Click HERE for the funniest two minutes ever.
Ever. 


P.S. Happy 23rd Birthday to the best biggest (skinnier) brother ever.
I wish I had your legs.
Love you, Lanny!

MLK Weekend.

This weekend was what I like to call a "successful" weekend.

It encompassed so many fun activities, memories, and good times.

click on collage to make photos larger. 

This weekend: 

-Sang at President & Sister Holland's Institute Devotional. 

Love them. We're on a first name basis. And I got a hug. Yeeee. 

-Date night at Cheesecake Factory. So good. 

-Julia's mission call opening: Honduras. So excited for her!

-Saturday hike with the girls. 

If you looked up the mountain the waterfall was frozen, but if you looked back over the valley, it looked like summer (see pictures)--it was crazy!

-Wore my nerd glasses. A lot. I'm a hipster now. 

-Sam's going away party. 

What did we do? Absolutely nothing. All you need is a hot tub, food, and a macbook to take ridiculous pictures, and you will pee your pants from laughter with my friends. Love those people. SO much. 

-Church & Sunday Dinner (at Charlesworths! love you guys!) - food&spiritual stuff=awesome. 

-Had some "Me time". I love those nights where I can just get some pondering time to myself. I was asleep by 11. It was incredible. 

-Scavenger Hunt Date using geocaching app. So fun! My competitive streak came out a bit. 

-Homework. I have a lot of reading this semester. Yummy.

 I'm consistently taking breaks currently to write this. Ha. Procrastinator much?

-Scripture Study Night with some friends for FHE tonight. 

Sometimes I wonder if anyone even cares what my life consists.

Let's be honest, only my mother probably reads this.

But I love reminding myself how much I have to go be grateful for and that my life truly is wonderful. 

I think all weekends should be long weekends. Just saying. 

xoxo. 

This is How I Feel Right Now.

that's me. as a five year old. 

AHHH!!!

A new semester has started, people. A new semester!

It's going to be a cuh-razy (busy) one.

Life is offering a lot of unknowns and I'm just trying to hold on to this roller coaster.

I'll keep you posted.

I should be sleeping. Instead I am writing this. Exhaustion & stress have hit already.

But I am happy. And that, my friends, is the most important thing. 

Any tips for the college student? (the end is near!) I mean, I've been doing this for almost four years, but I keep learning. Literally.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure I look the same.
Awesome.
xoxo.

portlandia: last few days of christmas break

I watched Portlandia the other day. It was slightly inappropriate, mostly true, and extremely funny.

I have been soaking up my last few days of christmas break (I don't start until Monday!).

It has been fabulous.

See for yourself:

Click to enlarge these beautiful faces :)

Row 1 (mostly): Photo shoot with my over spoiled rag doll kitty, Simba. Yes, that's his name. Except he's the exact opposite. Think ultimate fraidy-cat, bratty diva (he is beautiful though, huh?) Oh, but he loves me. So it's okay.
Row 2 (mostly): long bike ride along the waterfront in downtown Portland with my mom. Water breaks, headbands, and extremely attractive helmets. It was a gorgeous day in Oregon. So I cannot complain. I can't do this in Utah in January.
-End or Row 2: Visiting Holland's grave. ♥
Row 3: We found a bald eagle! (look closely), nice, healthy, salmon dinner (New Years Resolutions looking good so far!), adorable nieces and nephews, and cannot forget Monopoly Deal.

Now back to reality.
Sigh. See you in poo-tah.
xoxo.

I changed my mind.

THESE are my New Years Resolutions. 
I read this on a blog the other day and I fell in love. 
This poem is exactly everything I am striving to be.
So we'll just add all of this to the list. 


Enjoy.

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing

can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity

to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel

that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything

and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,

and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others

as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past

and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times

and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself

that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,

not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side

so long as you are true to the best that is in you.  

- Christian D. Larson

New Year. New You.

There is something so refreshing about a new year. It's another reminder to me that I can change and that second chances are always available. 
2011 was a year of adventure. Kenya. LDC incidents. Losing many people to death. It was a constant roller coaster. I cried, laughed, and learned so many lessons. I am ready for new.

I have decided to join the bandwagon (cause I'm a follower) and write my goals down. My goals are a little different though because I am shooting one month at a time. So these "new years resolutions" are going to start in the month of January. When (notice I didn't say if) I surpass January, it will continue on through next month, etc. etc. I want these goals to be realistic, but still testing.
So far, I am doing well! :)

*Minimize soda/fast food. (Try to completely erase it). Acceptable fast foods: Subway, Cafe Rio, and Sushi. Ultimately, eat better. 
*Read my scriptures & say my prayers every single day. Even if it's minimal. 
*Work out at least 3x a week. (shoot for losing 5 pounds in January)--Drink LOTS of water.
*Make my bed every single day. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I already do this. I just want to continue this habit. It just makes my room feel so much cleaner. 
 *Keep up good grades. Shoot for that internship!
*Compliment people more often. Say something nice to someone. It's amazing what a compliment can do.
*Think positive!! Think of at least 3 positive aspects throughout/at the end of the day.
*Try to be more realistic about others' behaviors and my specific expectations from others.
*Cook at least one real meal every week. (Hello, crockpot!)
Note: Real=something besides Lean Cuisine and Top Ramen. You get my point. 
*Be Happy.  To just savor the goodness of life. I have many things to be grateful for. I just want to be confident, content, and at peace. 

Wish me luck!
I have a script to write, a show to help prepare, songs to sing every single day in LDC, an internship to apply/plan for, a living situation to figure out, weight to lose, full time class schedule to keep grades up, a basketball intramural team, lessons to plan as a gospel doctrine teacher, teaching in the elementary schools, a temple to attend, a testimony to strengthen, friendships and relationships to build&strengthen, blogs to write, lessons to learn, random FUN adventures to encounter, and lives to change. 


Oh, maybe I should find a husband, too? ;)
2012, it's going to be a great year!

What are some of your goals/New years resolutions? Do you think I should add anything to my list?

Um, YES.

Have you played this game?

Monopoly Deal: I am obsessed.

My family and I have played this almost every single night over the Christmas Break. 

It is simply amazing. 

Little bit of luck. Little bit of strategy. And a whole lot of fun!

(I should have written the slogan for this game!)

If you want to play, let me know. I'm so game (no pun intended).

xoxo.