Acceptance.

Jambo (That's hello in Swahili. If you know, you know).

This picture has nothing to do with this post, but I am learning to accept winter for what it is because these views are not bad at all (more on that below)! Utah mountains are beautiful and I love photographing them.

It's 2020! What?! Didn't you think we would all be wearing bright silver jumpsuits and everyone would be driving flying cars (well, flying cars exist, but, I digress).

I know it's super trendy to have a word for the year, but I'm a follower (Ha! Oh, yea, that's me...), so I had to come up with a word for this year. It helps me stay focused and organized.

Acceptance. 

Oh, this word, you guys. This word. There is so much that encompasses this, for me.

For me, Acceptance means:

Accepting my body for the way it currently is. Accepting doesn't mean that I give up. It doesn't mean that I stop working out, eat like crap, and not take care of it. It means accepting the fact that my body is different post-baby. It does not make me less than or affect my worth because my body has changed. It means accepting the PCOS and depression and the gift of childbirth that accompanies it and dealing with it. It means owning the changes and continuing to stay active and moving in ways that make me happy.

Accepting my new role as a stay at home mother. I love tutoring and I enjoy the having a positive impact on these individual students, but I am not going to lie, I miss the classroom! I change my mind what I want to do every single day. One day I never want to go back to the classroom, the next day I want to go back part time, and the next day, I want to go back full time. I devoted seven years of my life to teaching in a classroom and my new normal is so different. It is wonderful, but it is different. I just keep telling myself once I have children I won't have time to think about missing the classroom. ;)  I know this sounds like I don't enjoy being a mother. That is not the case at all. I love it. I love setting my own schedule. In fact, I am surprised how busy I keep myself (it must be the teacher in me!). It's just different! My child and future child(ren) (no, not pregnant) need me at home right now. Teaching will always be there.

Accepting winter for what it is. Ugh, winter. It's so hard, ya know? I am so grateful that I live in a state that has the sun come out, though! I try to not let the winter stop me from doing too much, but I definitely feel myself hibernate a little in the winter (as, I have noticed, a lot of people do! Ha). I am learning to embrace winter, though. I am allowing myself to slow down, enjoy winter things and let our home slow down! Plus, the snowy mountains with a clear blue skies are unreal.

Accepting that I can't do all the traveling and things I want to at this stage of my life. The FOMO is real with this one (me, if you didn't get that). I am getting better as I get older and have children, but I want to do ALL THE THINGS. I am an introvert, but I love to have fun and socialize. I want to go to every concert, every movie, every activity, and most prevalent, I want to travel everywhere!!!! I am accepting that I can't do it all. I am so grateful for what I am able to do and what we are given. I am learning to be happy with where my family is at: my cute little family, my cute little home, and our simple life is simply...well, wonderful. There are seasons for everything and I'm learning to love all Seasons (figuratively and literally).

Accepting my abilities. I made some goals for the New Year. But, to be fair, they aren't really new goals. Many of them are things that I already do and I wanted to continue them! Some days I don't do everything. Some weeks I don't get to it at all. AND THAT'S OKAY!!! Accepting the good things about myself is the most important part. We need to try to progress, but accepting ourselves is the first key to progress. :)



What are you working on accepting in your life?

Not-So-Great New Years Resolutions (& Some Good Ones!)

Last Year's Not-So-Great Resolutions were pretty epic, so I'm not sure if I can make some horrible resolutions again, but I assure you, I will try my best. I am not a die hard new years goals because, let's be honest, I usually forget about them by January 6th (Oh wait, that's today. I've already forgot about some. Look at that!) But, I do like to pick a word to focus on. Earlier this week, I posted my word that I want to focus on for the New Year.

With that being said, I do like to pick a few things from each category of my life to either keep working on and improve on. I realize that some of them might be vague. I think it's also important to  be realistic.
Okay, let's get to the not-so-great resolutions.  THE FUN STUFF. 

2016 was a solid 8/10. I'm not going to lie, my not-so-great resolutions didn't happen. Shocking. 

I cannot wait to see what 2017 brings. 

In 2017, I hope to: 

Continue my obsession with the Bachelor (which started on Monday. You can see my live tweets here. You're welcome). 

Make Saylor cuddle with me even when she doesn't want to. 

Continue to post really good pictures of me (see above) on Instagram and Snapchat (@sierrasview). (Why am I always so good looking? I have got the whole not-looking-at-the-camera-blogging-look DOWN). 

Move to Maui full time. 

Have twins (one boy and one girl) and be done with having children. One and done. Boom. 

Lose 200 pounds (K, but seriously. I want at least 50 of these bad boys GONE. Working on it!). 

Make Amy Schumer my best friend (It didn't work last year). 

Force my husband to be done with bachelor's degree and instantly become rich (He should be done in December! Ahhhh IT'LL BE A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE). The rich part is super plausible and realistic, I know. 

Never get mad at my sixth graders (hahahahahahahaha).

Get three more puppies. 

Re-watch Gilmore Girls and Friends while doing laundry. Again. 

Actually put away my laundry. 

Maybe cook some dinner one of these nights.  (meh). 

Read 5 books every month. I wish I was kidding when I made this goal, but this could actually happen. Yikes. (But really, I want to read at least 2 a month!). I read 40 books in 2016. I'll probably read more than 2 a month. But hey, life happens.  

Pray that people will stop talking about the stupid election. ENOUGH ALREADY. 

Convince anyone over the age of 70 to get off Facebook. 

That's all I can think of. 

2017 looks promising, don't ya think?


In all seriousness though, I wanted to write a couple of my ACTUAL resolutions down. I don't like to make huge ones because I am not very good with follow through (I am really good at starting things though! Ha). Just a couple per facet in my life. Notice how I write "try" on many of them. Haha. Of course everything takes effort, so I will definitely try on all of these.

Spiritual
+Read scriptures and/or Conference talk daily (at least one). This is something that my patriarchal blessing talks about, probably because, well, I suck at doing it consistently. I love to read/listen to my scriptures and conference talks, but I cannot seem to get a routine down with them. I am really going to try this year!!!

+Gain a testimony of the mundane aspects of the gospel. Sometimes I tend to overlook those everyday things in the gospel, when really, that is where strength comes from. I want to try to get to church on time (ha! Good luck when we have kids!), do my visiting teaching more often, attend the temple by myself and with T monthly), and not procrastinating my tithing. I don't want to put set numbers on these things because then I feel like they become "duties", however they are things that I do want to focus on with my spiritual well-being.

Emotional/Mental
+Write in my journal at least once a week (bullet points, if needed!). Because I have this blog I tend to neglect my personal journal. I want to look for something to be grateful for everyday and to work on my word of the year (patience) while writing in my journal.

-Do the 91 Day Home De-Clutter Challenge at some point this year. My house is quite clean, but I really want to throw away junk. I cannot believe how much junk just T and I accumulate after one 3 1/2 years of marriage (and we don't even have that much. I'm just a little bit of a minimalist!).

-Read at least two books a month. I love book club and I love to read. I think that this is something quite manageable for me. I am excited to make a plan for books to read in 2017!!

Physical
-Continue to figure out my hormones/medicines/vitamins to help. I cannot tell how many days I have spent crying over trying to figure out my body and it's hormones. It's discouraging and aggravating. I am going to continue to figure out what to do with it and try my best. I will not kill myself because it's not worth it. But I will do what I can. That's all I can ask for myself (I need to be patient with myself!).

-Continue to work out 4-6 times a week. 4 minimum (This is something that I already do, but I want to keep it going!).

-Be able to run a 5k by summer!

Social 
-Keep improving and writing on my blog as much as possible! (Switch blog to wordpress). I want to shoot for writing on my blog at least once a week (2-3 if possible), but I can't promise. Again, I will try my hardest!

Maybe: Start my photography cards!
Try to make my bed as often as possible (Guys, I really hate to do this!!).

HAPPY NEW YEARS. 

"So, Like, What's Been Going On?"

A friend tweeted me the other day… "So, like what's been going on? I haven't read a post from you in forever and I miss your words."
Sigh.
I mentioned yesterday that there are a plethora of reasons for why I have been MIA from the blogging world. But, I guess, in all reality, it doesn't really matter, does it? I am now posting and that's the important thing, you could say.

Update on my life. Wow. Where do I even begin?

Christmas Break was fantastic. I did exactly what title of the holiday entailed…I took a definite break. I checked out from anything that I, essentially, did not have to do. I did not go into my classroom, I did not blog, and I did not grocery shop of any manner. Ha! I spent a wonderful week sleeping in, going to the gym, finishing up our Christmas Cards, and spending quality time with my puppy and T Money.  In all truthfulness, I was sort of recovering from my play and teaching the whole break. It was nice to not have rehearsal every day! Haha. My Christmas Break was very low key. We went and looked at lights, saw movies, and did fun, easy, cheap Christmas activities.  It was my first Christmas away from my family and with the in laws. I have to admit, I was a little sad. I wanted to be home in Oregon, with what was familiar, but Christmas with my in laws was actually wonderful! It just so happens that T Money's family does a lot of similar things and traditions as mine. I love my in laws so much, so it made the transition a whole lot easier.

all photos in this post via instagram. 

I didn't make New Years Goals this year. Not because I don't have goals, but because I always make them and never keep them. So I made one blanket statement and word that entails all of my little goals.
Happiness. 
I want to do what makes me happy. 

As many of you know, I have struggled with clinical depression since I was 14. This is not something that defines me or even tears me down anymore. I have learned how to process, deal and cope with it. There are definite days when I still struggle with it, but I know what helps me and what doesn't. I know when to see signs.
 I have spent too much of my life trying to do what makes others happy, or my parents happy, or what the church thinks that I should do to make me happy. I am doing what I know will make me happy. And let me tell you, in the past few months that I have done that, I have felt SO MUCH HAPPIER. I love where I am at in my life and that, to me, is what the whole point of this journey is, right? To enjoy it and embrace it and love it and savor it. And that's what I'm doing.

Some of these things that make me happy and that I want to continue to work on and change are:
-Going to the gym & exercising outside when I can. Yes, I want to lose weight. And thats a definite goal of mine, but more importantly than that, working out helps  with my depression and anxiety and stress. I love the endorphins that it gives me. I go to the gym because it makes me feel better. I will try to go to the gym often.
-Blogging when I want to. Sure, that may affect my numbers, but I felt way too much anxiety putting a deadline or a definite date on things. Who cares? I want to have quality posts and if that means only one post a week, then so be it. I am so sick of all the drama and mean words and stress that blogging brings. The second a hobby turns into something negative, it is not healthy.
-Do something once a day to improve myself. If that means, taking a bath and dealing with my stress, going to the gym, taking the dog for a walk, reading my scriptures, taking a nap, watching a show, reading a book, going out to lunch with friends, writing on this blog, etc. I want to remember that if I want to help others, I need to take care of myself. I want to continue to be spontaneous and fun and continue enjoying life. Along with this is involving myself in the Be Better Movement for Kenya Keys. Many of you know that I lived in Kenya for a few months in 2011 through an education program called Kenya Keys. Every week, I am, with the help of many other women to improve myself physically and mentally with one challenge a week. For every challenge I participate in and post on social media, money is donated for a child's education in Kenya. I am very passionate about these things: health, education, and my love for Kenya. I am excited to participate in it so that my loves in Kenya can get an education. This is improving myself and them. Look for the #bebetter52 hashtage on my instagram!
-Continue My Relationships and Serve Others. I don't have a lot of resources like money or tons of time, but I do have the luxury of having lots of people I love close to me. I want to continue to reach out to old friends, make new friends and serve those around me. I I have so many good people around me and I want to continue those friendships and relationships, because those people and that time is something that makes me happy. It sounds so cliche, but service really does bring happiness.
-And, of course, grow as a Teacher, Daughter of God, Wife and person. 

Life: My life is good. I have many things to be grateful for. The past week I have been really sick with a horrible cold, cough and sinus stuff. I am just now starting to feel better.  Tanner and I are thinking about buying a house and that's a little stressful, but it's definitely something we have started looking into. It's note definite, but something we are pondering. We are enjoying our time together and are excited for some possible trips this summer!! I am working like crazy and swamped with science fairs, testing, observations and parent teacher conferences. I am loving working with my young women and talking to them often. They are such funny, beautiful, awesome 14-15 year olds. My mother came into town last weekend for a visit and my brothers birthday. It was good to see her. Hard, just like it can be whenever family is around, but it was good.


And, that, my friends, is the way the cookie crumbles.
(That doesn't relate to this post at all, huh? That phrase doesn't work, huh? Whatever.)

Oh here are more pictures of life recently. Thank you, instagram. IG seriously saves my life. I really need to start using my nice camera.

LINK UP: Marriage Goals.

I am linking up with my blogging lover, Amberly, (yes, lover) for the Marriage and Goal Link Up. I am so excited that I can co-host this month! 
Since this is the month of looooove, I thought this post would be fitting for February (10 points for alliteration). I have been thinking a lot about my marriage and love in general so I am glad that I am co-hosting this month for the marriage link up.

I was married almost exactly 6 months ago and it has been such a wonderful, hard, exciting, challenging step in my life. I have learned more about myself in the last 6 months than I have in the past 6 years of my life. I have learned more about truly loving another person, about thinking of someone else besides yourself during your workday, etc. However, I make mistakes every day in my marriage. I say stupid things, I am selfish, I deal with constant insecurities, and I am working on certain things to make me a better person, friend, and wife.

So, for the next month, I wanted to make some goals regarding my marriage.
I recently have been listening to the book, "The Gift of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. Brene is a researcher who studies vulnerability and shame. And it's amazing. From listening to this novel, I have learned this main idea: that you cannot love another person completely until you love and accept yourself completely. I know we have all heard that before, but through the past few months, this idea has been reiterated to me over and over again. And, I admit, that is something that I struggle with. Sometimes I am so hard on myself, have such high expectations for myself that it becomes one of our struggles in marriage, or well, one of my struggles. But, we are a team, so my struggles are his struggles and vice versa. So I have made some goals regarding loving myself, because, truly and honestly, I have learned that our marriage cannot progress until I have progressed in myself, in my confidence, in my love for myself, etc. (there ARE parts that I am good at, I swear! I am confident about many things about myself, but there is always something you can do to make ourselves better, or more confident).

I want to be willing to put the problem in front of us.  
I have the tendency to keep things in. When I am mad, upset, sad, frustrated, I keep things in. And then, eventually, I blow up. And it usually is at the smallest things, like if T didn't do the dishes, or his side of the bed is dirty. This is not fair to him, to me, or our marriage. I want to be more aware of expressing my feelings out loud, to talk about how I am feeling at the moment, and not bottling it.

I want to recognize my strengths.
Since being married I have had the tendency to compare myself to other women, often times feeling very inadequate. I want to work on looking at the things that I do well in my marriage. We laugh a lot. We have a lot of fun. We are getting much better at budgeting. I serve him (at least try to since it was one of my new years resolutions). It's important to look at the positives of what I am doing, rather than always focusing on the negative.

I want to be willing to accept help and genuinely thank him.
Because I am a stubborn woman, I don't like to accept help from him sometimes. I want to be able to let him help me, especially when I am down and need extra love, guidance, and validation. True vulnerability is allowing someone else to see you that you need help, and let them help you. Because of this, genuinely thanking him is hard for me. I am still not entirely sure why, to be honest. truly thanking other people is not a difficult thing for me. But with my husband, sometimes I have a hard time doing so. I want to thank him and tell him I love him more often.

So there you have it. Some itty gritty details of our marriage.
I am hoping I can remember these goals and continue working on them so that we can be a BAD A couple. I mean, well, we already are. But you know what I mean :)

Link up your goals for your marriage or relationship below!!!! I would love to read your thoughts.

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New to the Marriage & Relationship Goals Link-up? Goals help our relationships grow stronger and get better with time as well as help us move forward and avoid the "ruts" of life. This link-up was created in hopes of inspiring your relationship with your significant other no matter your chapter in life and love. We would love for you to join us in making the things we do in our relationships intentional. 

If you would like more information, click here. If you would like to sign up for the newsletter, click here. If you are interested in cohosting, click here.