Sahn-Dee-aw-Go.

Sound it out. 

You can do it.

A month ago. YES, A MONTH AGO. I KNOW. Don't judge me. Have you picked up that my life is hectic yet? 

For Spring Break in April, I dragged (okay, he willingly wanted to go) Tanner to go see my sister and her new baby in San Diego. It was such a fun trip. I didn't think about teaching or jobs or anything-- I just spent time with my two nephews, Lincoln and Dane, my favorite doggy, Baxter, one of my favorite three sisters (see what I did there?) and my hot fiancé. We spent time at Balboa Park, the San Diego Zoo, Carlsbad beach, Seaport Village, and a lot of time on my sister's beautiful deck outside in the sun. And hey, good news people, he saw me with my family and didn't run! It's a miracle! It was our first road trip as a couple and I loved every second of it. Well, okay, not every second. But you get the idea.

Now, if it could not be October weather outside today...that'd be great. Summer's almost here, summer's almost here, summer's almost here. We can do it, people! 4th quarter!

Sigh.

Love that place. 

He Put a Ring On It.

Yes, I have had multiple people asking me about this story for a week and a half now. 

And yes, I am just now getting around to this post. 

I have been incredibly busy with oh, ya know, graduating from college, job interviews and trying to find a job (I could spend a whole post on this!), family being in town, spending time with Tanner, my fiancé (so weird to say that! Weird, but good), etc. So, kind of a little busy, exhausted, stressed, and emotional....

A lot of huge changes are happening in my life and I'm sort of just trying to hold on tight. I'm feeling a mixture of many emotions: fear, anxiety, happiness, joy, stress, exhaustion, euphoria, etc. It changes hourly, I think. Haha. 

It's an incredibly exciting time of life; in fact some of the most exciting things that have happened in my life are occurring, but my goodness, it's a lot to take in! 

Even though all of these are good things that are happening in my life, they are just very BIG things and I'm trying my hardest to adjust. 

But, alas, once again, I have learned that change is the only constant in this life. 

Okay, now to the good, happy part!!!

The Proposal: 

Last Monday Tanner texted me and told me to keep Friday night open because he won a free gift card to a restaurant in Midway. I didn't think anything of it--I had a few parties and little things going on, but I thought that a night out with him sounded like much more fun.  

On Friday, when he came to pick me up, I was exhausted. I had had a long day of school and had found out that a lot of the teaching jobs that I had interviewed for had been filled by other people. I was kind of discouraged, but I was trying my best to think positive thoughts.  We sat on the couch for a little bit, completely horrified yet quite amused by the happenings of the Boston Bombings. They thought they had fun the second bomber, and he was hiding in a boat. (This is important. You'll need to know this haha). I was slowly taking my time to get ready, and little did I know that Tanner was trying to get me out of the house. I could tell he was kind of in a hurry so I asked, "Oh? Do we have reservations?" His response was, "Yea so we gotta go!' I hurried and got ready as soon as possible.
Yet, I have to admit I was a little suspicious. It was in back of my mind. (I mean, we are talking the the way way way back, but you know, it was there). The reason why I thought this was because my roommate, Allie, came back to my room and was looking at shoes for me to wear and then offered to do my hair and was acting kind of...strange (Love ya Al!) That's when I had the idea that something was up. I didn't really think he was going to propose because we had talked about when he was going to do it a few days beforehand, but I had a feeling something was up.
 Side Story: In the week before he proposed, he told me that he wasn't sure if he'd had the money to buy the ring in time, so I may have to just wear a fake one until the wedding or something. In fact, I felt so bad and nervous about us getting married that just a few days before he proposed, I had a complete breakdown session (poor guy has been experiencing a lot of those!) explaining that we should wait to get married because he's broke and he just got back from his mission....blah blah blah. Poor guy had already been planning on proposing later that week. Haha. Of course I was clueless.
Anyway, I dismissed the idea. We got in the car and were driving through the canyon, just talking nonchalantly. I didn't notice Tanner acting weird at all to be honest. He seemed fairly in control now looking back. Then, out of the blue, he says to me, "Hey, you wanna go fishing?" I stopped for a moment, looked outside at the 45 degree, cloudy, windy day and said, "uhhh what?" He laughs and says, "I know how bad you have wanted to go fishing! Our reservation isnt til 8:30. I wanted to get you out of the house so we would have time to fish. I know how bad you have wanted to do something fun and spontaneous. Come on! It'll be fun." (I am still laughing and in shock; haven't responded yet! Not knowing what to say...to be honest I was really hungry. hahaha).
Without my response, he continues, "I know that you are in nice clothes, but the reason I told you to dress up was because we are going to a nice restaurant after and I knew you would be mad if you went to a restaurant in fishing clothes! (he knows me so well). I brought everything we will need:  blankets, fishing poles, umbrella, etc. I'm prepared babe!"
I had another feeling this time. In my head, I literally thought, "Oh my gosh what if he is proposing right now?!" I quickly dismissed that thought again because I didn't want to set my hopes up for it and then have him not do it that night. Plus, we had talked about him not proposing til much later .
We get out at Deer Creek State Park by the Lake. I am FREEZING, but I am trying to stay positive and happy and be spontaneous like I said I wanted to. The guy seemed like he had gone to so much work to make me happy, and I appreciated that, so I was going to have fun amidst the frigid weather!
We get out of the car and there is a parked boat right next to us (remember when I told you to remember the bomber in the boat?) I look at Tanner and I said, "Tanner! There is someone in that boat! I just saw something move in that boat!" He looks over and says, "Oh, Sierra, you're just being paranoid because of the bombers."
"Yea, you're probably right," I responded. Still very uneasy though; I was convinced there was something or someone in that boat!
We get on the sand by the water, Tanner is setting up the blanket and getting everything ready. I decided to practice my casting skills (which are very poor by the way). I'm looking out at the lake, in my pearls and polka dot sweatshirt, just doing my own thing, when I turn to pick up something for the fishing pole, and Tanner grabs the ring out of the tackle box and is on one knee!!!!
I was stunned. I had some idea, but I truly didn't think he was going to propose so I was in complete awe. The boy waited maybe 5 minutes to do it! He was on it. (He tells me it's because it was incredibly freezing so he didn't want to sit there and stir over it!) I am standing there as he says the sweetest words (between him and i :))  and asks me to marry him. I begin getting teary eyed. Not bawling, but definitely teary eyed. I needed to process all of this! I was so shocked. Even though it was in the back of my head, I was not waiting for him to propose; hence the complete shock! It I was so stunned that it took me about a minute to answer. I realized that I hadn't said, "yes!"
(I did, by the way.)
I said yes about 6 times. And hugged and kissed him.
And blah blah blah. Some more cheesy stuff.
It was perfect.
He had meticulously planned the whole thing so that it would be a complete surprise.
And goodness, it sure was!
It meant so much that he went to so much work to make sure every detail was perfect and that I would be surprised--and that he did it somewhere where he knew I would love.
See, I have had this dream of being proposed to on a beach. It used to be a gazebo on a beach, but I changed it just to a beach (I realized that I had to be somewhat realistic about it!) and that I wanted a secret photographer. Tanner explained to me that after he proposed that he chose this location because it was the closest thing he could find to a beach in Utah. (Could you die? So sweet!!!). After we spent a few moments alone, I turned around and found those sneaky photographers! Kim and Cortni, Tanner's sister and cousin were taking pictures (Thank you again, girls! I will treasure these photos). And it was Cortni over by the boat (ah ha! Told you I am not crazy!).
It was a wonderful moment.
It was the moment that I realized that I wanted to be with him forever.
I realized how much I loved him.
I realized how much we both had been through to get to this point.

Kaydie Jo, Tanner's 7 year old sister was waiting for us back at the house and Tanner said she couldn't wait to see me, so we headed over there. She jumped in my arms and said, "I can't wait for you to be my sister!!!"

PS--the restaurant that Tanner was planning on taking me to was made up. Yep, he made up a restaurant. And a reservation time to get me out the door before dark. haha.  Awesome. Don't worry, he fed me after nonetheless :)
Ps--apparently he did have the money for the ring, eh? Don't worry, he's just broke now :) haha.

Tanner, I love you!
Can't wait to spend forever...no, literally ;), forever with you :)

Of course. It was freezing outside!!!

I found the secret photographers! 

Not the best picture of my ring, but you get the idea. It's rose gold :)

I seriously cannot believe that it's real: that there is a ring on my finger, that I am getting married on July 27th, and that I am marrying an incredible man. (In fact, probably the most patient man I know! Shocking, huh?)  

He is wonderful. Seriously wonderful. And I cannot wait to be with him forever.

You can see my colors here.

xoxo. 

I'm a College Graduate.

...Even though I have basically been done for a while now, I have officially completed my college career. It feels so good to have it done! I am so grateful for all the love, support, and help I have received over the past few years. It definitely has been quite the roller coaster, as it always is when it comes to me. :)

Throughout the past few years, I went through some of my most difficult trials, I met people who truly changed my life, and I have grown in all facets. I am ready for the next step of my life!

Where's Waldo?

Typical.

Yay! 

COMING SOON...

to this blog:

.........An Engagement Story (Yes, mine! Ahhh!!!)

....................A Graduation Story (Yes. It's happening! Feels so good!)

.......................................More Job Interviews (Yes. Still waiting for a long term job! Such a long, tiring, kind of discouraging process. Waiting for an answer to a prayer.)

.........................................................Wedding Planning and dealing with the stress of that. (Yes, it's not as fun as they make it out to be. Whoever they are.)


But, now...I sleep.
It's a busy, but stressful time of life! Hence the little blog hiatus.


Before I go, I want to show you a precursor for my wedding colors though :). 
I know my blogging friends will appreciate this. Ha. 

via

Pretty, eh? Will change this a little, but you get the general idea.

True Life: I am a Basket Case of Stress.

I recently have been very stressed.

No, you don't understand. 

This is what I have going on in my life:  

{Graduation} (One week! Wow!) Even though I have been "out of college" for a year now and have my own classroom and I feel like I have been graduated for a long time, it still feels weird to be officially done with college. Despite the fact that the next stage of life freaks me out a little bit, I can't describe how excited I am to stop eating Top Ramen 5 days out of the week... Haha. 

{Finding a Job/Interviews}: This past year I have been an intern teacher--meaning I was a first year teacher, but I had a mentor who helped me from August-December. I had my own classroom and whole shindig, but it is not a permanent job. Sucks, huh? Now here comes the brutal part: I Have To Find a Long Term Teaching Job. I don't know how many of you are aware of the teaching world out there but THERE ARE NO JOBS. (Oh wait, that's everywhere, huh? Thanks Obama..eeek too soon?) I had an interview and the principal told me that there were 160 applicants for that one position! 160. ONE POSITION. Meaning the fact that I got an interview was huuuuge. Yet, the official job offer has yet to come. And it is getting a little draining and discouraging. I see all of my friends who were student teachers being offered jobs, and I am a little confused why I feel like I'm the only one not getting a job (even though I know I am not the only one!). Filling out applications, emailing principals, dropping off resumes, having interviews is an exponential exhausting (2 points for alliteration) activity and I am starting to feel worn down. I would love the opportunity to have job security in the fall. 

{A really serious relationship} Yea. That's how I'm going to word it. Tanner. He's amazing. I love him so much. But the process of falling in love is stressful and very time consuming. Wonderful, but stressful! I blame him for my lack of sleep! (He's gonna read this and roll his eyes!). There are particular activities that are involving him as well coming up so...yea...that's been stressful. And that's all I'm going to say about that (2 points if you can name that movie). 

{Teaching Those Crazy 9 & 10 Year Olds}. Remember how I am in the process of interviewing for jobs? Yea, well...I ALSO HAVE A CURRENT CLASS TO TEACH FOR 5 MORE WEEKS. This is a very stressful time of the school year. End of year testing starts next week, the finalizing of the year, etc. etc. The kids are starting to get antsy since they know the school year is almost over. It's funny, it's as if they believe they can act completely out of control because the school year is over in 5 weeks. Funny how that works. They have been...quite the challenge this week. Let's just say I went home almost crying today because they were so disrespectful and difficult. This is so not like them. I love my students so much. They are so funny, bright, and entertaining. But this week has definitely been one for the books. The awful, horrid, books that is. I had a little chat with them about respect and "enduring to the end" (Without bringing religion into schools..duh...except my students started singing Popcorn Popping today..soo that whole church & state line is kind of dim here in small town Utah) . Yea, so that's been fun. Ya know? 

{That Thing Called Weight}: I'm gonna say it. And all of you are going to hate me for saying it. But I am not happy with my weight. Yes, I am not fat. But I hate the fact that when I look in the mirror I see only negatives about myself. And yes, I could be healthier. No, I will never be a size 2. No, I will never even be a size 4. Heck, the last time I was a size 2 was 8th grade. But, I know that I can be healthier and feel better about myself--that is what is important. So, I have started this diet. And I hate it. I hate dieting. I hate the way that it messes with my energy and emotions. I hate how I feel when I'm on a diet. But it's stressful continuously watching what you eat, counting the calories, making sure you're excersing every night. It's a full time job. I've tried a lot of different things. So if anyone has any ideas of a diet that allows me to not starve myself, have the energy to still work out, and make me feel good? Please..I'm all ears. 

{That Other Thing Called Emotions}: I am very emotional person. If you did not know this, WELCOME. It has been something that I have dealt with for my whole life. And keeping up with my emotional health has always been a battle. But when I am stressed with huge life changes, It becomes way worse. And then I don't know if it's just stress that's making me feel that way, or my depression, or Satan, or blah blah blah. And I have to stop and take a moment and breathe. 

{Social Life}: Right now, my social life is the last thing on my list. It's heartbreaking, really. I never see my friends. I don't really have time to do anything super exciting or adventurous (which is hard because my natural instinct is to be very spontaneous!). I hate that. So I have told myself that once school is out, I am going to do something new at least once a week this summer. Whether it be a new hike, scrapbook, learn how to change a tire (yes, I have learned that 90 times...I still can't remember), etc. I am going to get that spontaneity and adventuresome Sierra back! It's difficult to learn to balance my life in times like this. I need relationships in my life--they are something very important to me. But when I finally have alone time, I just want to read, or sleep, or check my emails and get caught up on life (or, ya know, Grey's Anatomy...). Socializing sometimes just makes me tired. Am I weird for saying that? 

Then you add in blogging, church stuff, every day errands, etc. And pretty much I don't have time to breathe. 

I seriously don't know how so many of you find the time to be avid bloggers with giveaways, parties, twitter, meetings, sponsors, etc. Thinking about all of those things just makes me want to vomit. One day I'll have the time. One day. 

I sort of feel like the walls are caving in on me. It's as if I have this "list" of things that I need to get done but I cannot seem to find the energy, positive attitude, or time to do it all. I don't know if it's just the fact that I am overwhelemed, or exhausted, or the fact that this week has seriously been one of the craziest weeks when it comes negative incidents happening in this country! With the Boston Bombings, the lost girl in Provo, the factory being blown up in Texas, Iran occurrences, etc. I seriously think that this week has just been a really crappy week..for everyone....

So, I have created a list of 5 things for me and for those of you out there who feel like they are stressed out of their minds (or just suck at dealing with stress, like me! Anxiety anyone?) 

1.  BREATHE 
Take a moment every day to breathe. A moment could be anything for you: 2 minutes, 15 minutes, 1 hour. Do not go longer than than 3 hours though! That's just getting distracted and lazy. Do not distract yourself with any technology. Get off the computer. Get off your phone. Turn off your tv.
Go for a walk. Take a nap. Write in your journal. Goodness--just lay there for a minute!!! Just stopping for a minute helps you take in what you feel more awakened and focused on the things that are most important. It is vital that you make room to rest.

2. DO SOMETHING SILLY

Don’t forget to have fun! Laugh. A lot. Do something spontaneous. Not every day, but make it a part of your life. Sometimes I tend to get so rigid in my routine that I forget that spontaneity and adventure is a good thing! 

3. PRAY/MEDITATE

I don't care if you are religious or not. Pray. A lot. Pray to yourself. Pray to Buddha. Pray to the earth. Pray to God. Just hearing yourself say the words out loud is a stress reliever. Allowing your inner self to believe in something higher than just you will make your thoughts more positive and give you hope in what is coming up next. 

4. TAKE THE EVENING OFF

You can’t be equally productive every single waking moment, so you might as well schedule some off time off soon. Be nice to yourself and don’t expect to accomplish everything in one day. Allow yourself to sit down and watch a movie. Allow yourself to a take a long shower. Allow yourself to go to bed early on a Friday night. Allow yourself for that long run you've been wanting to take.  Don't be afraid to say no to things. It's okay to not be busy or doing something all of the time. Choose the things that are most important and go with it. Do what is most important to you first. 

5. POSTPONE ALL MAJOR DECISIONS 

This is not the time to move houses, quit your day job or break up with your significant other (however tempting any of those changes are). Save the big stuff for when you’re calmer and can think clearer. YEP. THIS IS ONE I REALLY NEED. I tend to make rash decisions when I am tired or stressed. Allow yourself to think, process, and make the decisions when your head is clearer and not so overwhelmed. 

This list could go on and on, but this is something I came up with fairly quickly.  

Now, I am going to take a bubble bath. 

What do you do that helps with you stress? 

Any thoughts on my word vomit of what's happening in my life?

It's almost the weekend! Yay!

xoxo. 

Snowy Getaways & Thoughts on Boston.

A couple of weeks ago (okay, so like a month ago. Don't hate) I had a little getaway for an entire weekend. It was so nice just to escape from reality for a few days and enjoy some relaxed time with family and friends.

My sister, who lives in San Diego, came out to Park City for a wedding. She invited me up for a couple of days to crash. Minus the fact that Dane hated me and cried a majority of the time that I was in his presence, it was so awesome to see her. We stayed up waaay too late  talking about l.o.v.e. and the changes in life. (It was especially late since she was pregnant at the time! --see I told you this was awhile ago cause Lincoln, her baby, is definitely born now...yea.... just love me). 

After Park City, I met my besties at a cabin in Midway for just the day. I would have slept over with all of them but I had stupid (er, I mean, awesome) school (or work? I still don't know whether to say "going to work" or "going to school" when it comes to teaching?) the next day. Nevertheless, it was so fun to eat, play stupid games, dance like idiots, and eat some more with them for a few hours. I love those people so much. 

With the most recent events of the Boston Marathon Bombings, I have taken a moment to stop and think about all the blessings I have been given in my life. Today was one of those days where I heard numerous amounts of negative things happening: a teenage girl lost in Provo, close loved ones dealing with prison, and the Boston bombings.  Getting on the computer, watching the television and picking up my phone just breaks my heart. It makes me sad to know that this is the world we live in. With that being said, I am so grateful for knowledge of a Heavenly Father that has a plan for all of this confusion and heartbreak. And that there will, one day, peace because of and from Him. I am so grateful for the safety and love of all my family & friends. Sending numerous of thoughts and prayers to many people throughout this country who are struggling.

Amidst all of this hardship, I am so grateful for the knowledge of knowing who I am, whose I am, and where I am going.  I am grateful to live in a beautiful place. I am grateful for all the blessings that I am lucky enough to have. 

Park City

Dane

priceless

love these people. 

Midway. 

This is the funniest game ever! You pick up a card that says, "ear to nose." and you have to hold the card. Sounds stupid? You have no idea. Try not to pee your pants while playing though. I dare you. Sam and I won both times. Just saying. 

Some of the besties.

normal. 

xoxo.