Bachelor Thoughts: Sean's Season {Episode 5}

Episode 1
Lindsey is growing on me! Her voice, however, is not.

Oh my goodness, these girls are retarded. Learn how to row a boat.

THAT'S MY GIRL DESIREE!!!! Drink that goat milk.

"He's not gonna wanna kiss that mouth now. Goat pee mouth...mmmmm...."-Phil

Tierra. Go away. Fuh-reak!!!!! She is literally cray cray.

Sean just said he is crazy about Ashlee! Holy crap. They are coming out of nowhere.

Jackie is so much prettier than Tierra. Tierra's dent is buggin'. Hard core.
But she needs to be way more aggressive.

Well, no wonder Tierra is cray cray. She dated a drug addict...for five years. She continued to be with him. Yiiiikes.

The problem is that Jackie is really boring. She doesn't have much of a backbone. She's beautiful, but Sean wants more personality. Hence the fact that Tierra is still around. That and she's hot and he wants to do naughty things with her.

Eh, I'm so over writing this episode...

Episode 2 (Two episodes in one week! ahhh!!!)
I don't know if I would jump in a glacier lake. Uh.....and I'm pretty spontaneous.

Oh my goodness, Sarah's response to Sean breaking up with her just breaks my heart. She is so kind. But at least he was honest with her and sent her home right away. Props, Sean. But holy crap...this is so awkward. Poor girl.
Ahhh this is breaking my heart. I didn't even really like Sarah, but this whole thing is so sad! I feel bad for Sarah. The girl has probably struggled with this her whole life; talk about a shatter to her confidence.

Sean: "You okay?" to Sarah.
NO SEAN. SHE'S NOT OKAY.

Date with Des! Yes yes yes! My fav girl.
I just love how natural Sean and Desiree are together. It seems more...real... I can't explain it.

Ope, there is the relationship correlating with the hard task date...blah blah blah. NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE ON THE BACHELOR. No, your relationship with Sean is nothing like that rock climbing backwards. Unless you mean the fact that you are falling in love with a guy that you don't even know and your dates are completely unrealistic. That's what you mean, right, des?
Okay...Sorry. Des, you know I love ya.
(but you know what I mean?)

Okay, marry each other now Desiree and Sean. K?
"It's impossible not to have a good time with you." BOOM.
Okay, Desiree, time to be vulnerable for 2 seconds though, yea?
Ope, she lived in a tent. Okay, there's the honesty. Wooo that'll do it....

It's fine. I'm braintyping all of these girls.

Ya know, for not being able to kiss him, Selma sure shows all of her body (boobs) to the world. Hmmm....
"Mama...please forgive me.... for showing my breasts in every single outfit that I wear...don't worry though the kiss was WEAK AND WE BARELY TOUCHED LIPS. So it's fine. I'm a good girl, mama..." --Selma's unedited version.

Oh my lanta Lindsay is a freaking tease. No, nooooo don't kiss me. KISS ME.

Ashlee is so classy. I feel like she is too mature and good for him though. Is that just me?

Okay, I'm gonna be a hopeless romantic right now...but that blindfold scene and kiss with Ashlee was so perfect. Wow.

Tierra?! Over Selma! WHAT. You're an idiot, Sean.
Eh, whatever. I'm over it. Ha.
I didn't like Selma or Daniella anyway. So it's all good.

"That was extremely difficult for me"-Sean. Uh huh, I'm sure. As you say it to 6 other gorgeous women. 

Episode 4
Episode 3

Now that we are a week into February, I'll let you know that I WAS alive in January.

Ten Points for longest title ever.

boom.

Here's some January fun. 

It was, in fact, very fun. 

Big shocker.

What wasn't (well, uh, isn't, I guess) fun is that I am so ghostly white.

So, yea, I'll need to work on that ASAP. 

Other Fun January Moments 

Teacher parties, girls nights, birthday parties, Oregon pride parties, etc. 

It's been a good month!

Come at me, February! 

Oh, the Ideas of 4th Graders...

As many of you already know, I spend so much of my time in my classroom laughing hysterically. I have a class full of rowdy, rambunctious, opinionated boys and girls. It is very tiring, but my goodness, they say and do the funniest things. They take after their hilarious teacher ;)

My students sort of have this obsession with me getting married. I'm still not entirely sure why, since we have only talked about it once. Apparently this is my future husband though? I let my students doodle during read aloud, and once we finished, a student of mine approached me with this picture. K, well...at least he has a 12 pack. right? 

Remember how I let my students do crafts during read aloud?

Maybe I should stop....

because this is the kinda crap, er, creative art, I mean.... they come up with. 

"Miss Ainge, look, you're the background of my tablet!!"

I felt so many emotions, guys. Flattered? Scared? 

Haha love it. 

Okay, are you ready for this y'all? 

For MLK day, we talked about Martin Luther King and what his "dream" was and how he helped our country. 

So, I had my students write their own dreams. 

I'm gonna leave it at that. You, my dears, just enjoy these HILARIOUS responses. 

"I have a dream..."

Yep. you read that right. 

:)

Haha this one kills me!

Okay, well...

At least he's realistic, right?

Ope there is the marriage word. 

ha. ha. hahahaha. Apparently my students think China is in need?

I just about cried when I read this one. 

That families will exept black people.
1. Spelled accept wrong.
2. hahahahahahahahahaha

#onlyinutah #areyoumormon

K I am pretty sure that I didn't even know houses were paid for at 10 years old.
Oh my goodness! 

Oh man, they crack me up. 

I love my students so much.

My job is better than yours. 

I Definitely Realized This Today.

So grateful for weekends and the opportunity to rejuvenate; to remind yourself of the little things that can make you happy in life. 

Five Things Friday.

First things first: IT IS FRIDAY. AND IT IS SUNNY. Although it's colder than I would like, we have clear, blue skies in Utah and the snow looks pretty when it is only on the mountains...and not all over my car. Just saying.
Okay, now...
Five things I bet you didn't know about me.
Even you, mom. Yea, I know you read this blog. 

I look too yellow. Stupid Instagram. 

I could spend 9 hours watching Grey's Anatomy in my bed. Easy. Now, I have only done this once and it was when I had kidney stones, but, ya know...it's fine. Oh, how I wish I could have one day of laziness. Haha. 

I secretly want to wear glasses. I am grateful for my perfect eyesight (I mean that as humbly as possible) but I would buy the suh-weetest glasses. (see above picture. no? yea? Eh whatever)

When I was little, I would play "Butts Up" with my brother. Yea, we named it ourselves. Oh, the sheer brilliance of a nine and ten year old. We would throw a tennis ball against the garage and if we fumbled it, we had to sprint to the garage door and touch it before the other person threw it to get you out. So, yes, basically, wall ball...with a tennis ball. We thought we were so creative.
But here's the real point: Without fail, I would get mad at my brother every.single.time we played because he would always win. Even with his left hand (that's what you get when you have a severely athletic older brother). I would scream, yell, and then leave the game. Every time.
....I'm still mad at him for this.

I don't really like goody two shoe people. OKAY, LISTEN BEFORE YOU JUDGE. I am so grateful for people who are amazing members of the church, but I get frustrated with people who feel like they have to do everything perfect and never do one thing wrong in their entire life. Just take a breather, k?
We are here on this earth to learn and make mistakes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and learn and grow and mess up!!!

Milk duds are my favorite candy.
yep, couldn't think of anything else. goin' out on a limb, here. You're getting the juicy details. 

And that, my friends, are 5 deep dark secrets of Sierra no middle name Ainge.
You are welcome.

Yea, Bonnie, I linked up to you! YOU ARE WELCOME, TOO.

Happy Weekend!

Bachelor Thoughts: Sean's Season {Episode 4}

First shot of the episode: Oh look, he's not wearing a shirt. Shocking. And no clothes. Like at all! Ahhhhh!!!

Selma: Think you can handle "All 110 pounds of me"---hmmmm SO FAT...

Phil (who is surviving through this show with me!): "You can't take Barbie into the desert!"

Selma's boobs are everywhere.

"His body is perfect."-me
"Why don't you just go ahead and type that out, too....": Phil

Ew, I don't love Selma. I don't know why--I think it's because she's too high maintenance and prissy. I just don't love her. But I do like that she won't put out.

Homeboy wants to kiss her soooo bad. But good for her for sticking to her guns!

I think that he's just infatuated with Selma; I don't see him with her long time. All he wants to do is kiss her. Or more. He likes her, but he likes her face more. That's it.

"She has everything that I want..."- Sean.
....physically.....he means.

Oh man they want to kiss each other so bad. This is just painful.

Ugh, I am so sick of hearing about Sarah's arm. She is so self conscious about it. I totally understand, but it's the only thing that defines her, ya know?

Of course Amanda is good at roller derby. And of course she injures herself showing off. Cray cray.

"This is just hard for Tierra. Being around all of the other girls..."--Then homegirl...DON'T GO ON THE SHOW.

Haha Sean is so pissed that he isn't in the hot tub with Lindsay right now. He doesn't want to be talking to crazy Tierra right now.

Ope, Lindsay is just chatting away in her bikini.

HE JUST GAVE TIERRA THE ROSE. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. SEAN YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Can't even stand this.

"If tierra goes home...I'll always wonder what it will be like to be with her"
Translation: "If Tierra goes home...I'll always wonder what it's like....to sleep with her...."

Man, what a knifing little..... Tierra IS good.

Black Leslie is annoying. She's a little too enthusiastic. 

Mmmm Maserati. 

What is Sean wearing? A vest with...is that flannel?
Okay, there we go, that tux is HOT. Nothing better than a man in a tux.

This is literally every woman's dream date. Holy crap. I wanttttt.

Sean is not into Leslie. At all.

I feel bad for Leslie.
moving on...

blah blah blah Tierra is crazy blah blah blah.

WHOA AMANDA. What died on your lips? And your hair? Yiiiiikes.

K, well. That wasn't a very good episode.
Can Desiree win already?

Episode 3 Thoughts

If You Really Knew Me...

If You Really Knew Me...

If you really knew me then you would know that I was born with a broken collar bone. And I have double jointed elbows. Just ask my friends. They make fun of me everyday for it. Yep...the picture above reiterates that.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am a complete dreamer. I dream of traveling the world. I dream of having a huge closet of amazing clothes.

If you really knew me then you would know that I love sunshine more than anything in the world.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am a very emotional person. No, this does not mean that I am mess. It just simply means that I get very emotionally involved. I'm working on it, don't worry.

If you really knew me then you would know that I have wanted to be an elementary school teacher since I was in 5th grade. And that sometimes I'd rather be around my 9 year old students than people my own age.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am a clean freak. And I do better in routines. Yet, I can be one of the most spontaneous people you will ever meet.

If you really knew me then you would know that I love movies. I love going to movies, I love watching movies; I dream of being in movies.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am one of the most outgoing people you will ever meet, however, I am an introvert. I can be alone for three days and be completely okay with it.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am a severe pinterest addict.

If you really knew me then you would know that 1) LDC, 2) Africa and 3) This year of teaching are all events that have literally changed and saved my life the past couple of years.

If you really knew me then you would know that I am a sarcastic person who tries to find humor in every situation.

If you really knew me then you would know that this blog was started so that I could get my thoughts down all on paper. Not to get followers. Not to go to blogging parties (although they are so fun and I have loved all of the friends I have made!) but for me. To truly be able to have a spot that is mine and I can share my thoughts, feelings, and words with the world.



**Inspired by the link up: Facts of Me 

I have had incredible feedback from this guest post. I cannot even tell you how amazing it has been so to see so many people affected by this. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Don't forget about this awesome giveaway! You get 6 months of free sponsorship on my blog!!!

This is Perfect.

Amen, boy. Amen. 

So funny. 

"She's fightin' cancer...like a BOSS."

Bachelor Thoughts: Sean's Season {Episode 3}

Note: I know this is really late...I meant to post it a couple of days ago. But then I got super busy. With teaching twenty five 9 year olds ya know? Kind of time consuming. Anywho...without further ado...
My oh so snarky, sarcastic, and possibly really rude remarks about The Bachelor.
Do not get me wrong: I LOVE this show. But there is so much ridiculousness to it: I have to add my thoughts! Haha. Enjoy! 

Okay, first of all: it's LeSSSSSlie. Like a snake. Not Lezzzzlie. Like a lesbian. Let's fix this now.

I like Leslie. I do. But the more that I look at her, the less attractive she gets to me. It's her eyes. They are weird. She seems really fun and he likes her a lot. But I don't think she is serious about a long term relationship.

Whoa, I love the style of Leslie's pink lace dress. But if homegirl lifts her arm slightly, her bootay is gonna be all over national television.

Guiness Book of World Records for longest On Screen Kiss? That's not kissing. That is pressing your lips together for 4 minutes. Big difference.

Ope, Sean's shirt is off. Again. Surprise, surprise.

Beach volleyball game? Every guy's dream right now. But holy balls, these girls are TERRIBLE. I should go on this show. I would dominate things like this!

Oh my she is CRYING because she lost the volleyball game. Honey...deep breaths.

Lindsay's voice. Holy hell. Stop. talking.

But Sean looks like a really good kisser. oh myyyyy gosh.

Desiree is freaking adorable. Marry her right now.
Sean really likes her. A lot. He looks and treats her differently than the other girls.
I love Desiree's confidence, too, Sean. I love it too.

Quick question: Does Amanda ever not look pissed?
WHOA SHE SMILED. YAYYYYY.

Sean doesn't look at Kacie as more than a friend. I can tell.
And I totally feel like Kacie is throwing Desiree under the bus. Whoa, girl.
Kacie does not seem as sweet as she was before.
"Why are you saying something to me?"-- Sean. GOOD QUESTION!!! ATTA BOY!!! You go, Sean!  "I want you to act like Kacie, not like this crazy person I am seeing." Sean, you are officially my favorite Bachelor ever. He is so grounded and realistic.
I feel like Kacie is too desperate. Like, why is she back? I don't really get it.

Oh, shocking, Tierra fell down the stairs.
And is being dramatic about it.
I'm so surprised.
And she's a klutz.

mmmm I love Sean's sunglasses.

I literally screamed out loud when I saw they were going to Six Flags, alone. I am so insanely jealous!!! WHAT. SIX FLAGS. GIVE IT TO ME.

And those girls with chronic illnesses...oh, my heart. That is actually super sweet. I love this. SO much.

aaaand The Eli Young Band? I'm just pissed now.

"I would definitely like to have as many children as...many as my husband and I decide..."-Ashlee. Well, seriously? Duh. That could be any number, darling. Der der der.

Whoa, Ashlee comes out with the big guns. Yikes. She's been through a lot. I like her attitude, though.
Good for her for being open and vulnerable. She is really growing on me.

Ughhh Sarah drives me nuts. She is super annoying. Okay, I feel sorry for her arm. blah blah. But her voice and personality is quite frustrating. But that is so sweet that Sean brought her dog! Oh my word. How kind.

Oh, Tierra. What a biotch. That's all I have to say about that.
Moving on..

I love Desiree's dress at the Cocktail party. So cute and simple.

Whooooa Kacie might be going home from what Sean just said! Yikes.

CALLED IT. I KNEW HE ONLY SAW KACIE AS A FRIEND. I TOTALLY CALLED IT.

The thing that I love about Sean is that he is really thoughtful of the girls. He doesn't want to hurt them. He tries everything in his power to be kind, even if he does send the girls home.

Dude if he doesn't pick desiree, I am not watching this show anymore.
Hallelujah, he did. Don't scare me like that, Bachelor producers!

....and that's it. For this week.
I'm a better person than this normally. Kind of. 

PS come check my guest post. It shows that I have quite a serious side, in fact.
Also, don't forget to try to win this giveaway! You get 6 months of free sponsorship on my blog! 6 months. Yep, Merry Christmas. In January.

I love Bonnie and Natalie's take on this past week's episode as well. 

I'm All Over the Blog World.

COME CHECK ME OUT.

Guest Post over at Stories of Kel!

& 

Birthday Celebration Giveaway over at All Glorious Within!

Go love me, k?

Oh, and just for your entertainment....

Man, I'm good looking. 

xoxo.

PS To my new followers: Welcome!!! I love new friends!!!

too many exclamation points, I know. 

Oh, and I love my old friends too. They are my peeps ya know?